Thursday, May 20, 2004

Right. The Conversations with B.

Remember how I'd said that Hugo's dad, B. suddenly started phoning me about a month ago, and though pressing me into helping him to sort out his legal problems, by making me feel guilty for him having to go to prision for what he did to me over two years ago, which basically was destroying my flat, kicking my front door open, smashing almost every window in the house, throwing furniture at me while threatening me to death and by all this shit causing in Hugo a fear to sleep in that flat, where he'd been brought up ever since he was born, and urging me therefore to go live with Joan for a while instead of fighting back to stay when my landlord wanted us out. Then there was, of course, months and months of nasty phonecalls, insults, shouting, and threatening. So I went to the police twice, and he'd finally got a sentence of a year in prison, which he won't do for being a first offence -but that will mean he'll have to watch out now, as he's got a first offence and the next one would be prison!- and paying abour € 1,300.00 or so, but at a pace of €60.00 per month 'till he gets it done with, so it's hardly stressful. Well, he got it wrong -surprise, surprise!- and thought it was now € 2,000.00 all at once, or else 2 years prison. And he said I could withdraw my words now so he'd not have to pay it.

Well I'd been talking with my lawyer and, though he has a restriction so he shouldn't come close to me, he's not been violent or offensive, so I didn't want to go through asking for a phone restriction, too, as was suggested. I thought I'd try and make B. see what he really had to do, and not let him make me feel bad about anything.

Then, last Thursday, I bumped into B. and had to listen to his story, and be nice so as not to get into arguing and/or fighting in front of our son. Who, by the way, saw his dad is no longer what he remembered from his 'golden days'.

B. was trying to make it feel like he'd gone mad one night, and I'm making him pay for that only night -which I would have dealt with differently, for sure, but wouldn't have let him off even if that incident had been only once. It was really scary, specially as I know things about him, about the fights he's been in, how he carries a knife often, and so on. But it wasn't only that night... he could have phoned a day after, or a week, or a month... to see if we needed help in repairing the door and windows, to see how Hugo was after all this... And he certainly didn't need to harass me with really nasty phonecalls, up to 5 or 6 a day, until I finally gave in and paid him around € 1,200.00 he reckoned he'd spent on his son and wanted back now. Once I paid that sum to him, he stopped the phone calls and just called once every 6 - 8 months to remind me he didn't want to see us ever again :D

Anyway, he was offering to help me with Hugo again, to give us some money, to go to collect him from school and all that shit... I reminded him that before seeming Holier Than Me for giving Hugo some spending money, he'd better pay me back the €1,200.00 he'd got from me... and to take it easy with the Family Reunited shit until we could start trusting him.

On Friday we went -Hugo and I- to his shop, to check the papers, and Hugo didn't really want to go: he begged me to hurry up once we were there, and to get out as soon as possible, and 'If he tries to touch you, move back and don't let him, please mom!' But B. had a good hattrick: he got his 2 daughters to come and visit, so Hugo stayed playing with his long-lost sisters and didn't want to leave... so I had about 4 hours to deal with the people turning up at the shop going 'OOOH HUGO, how long since I last saw you' and 'That's Hugo, right???', and so on, and B. always explaining the family was all together again now, and how it had been 'a small family disagreement' that had caused Hugo not to visit for two years... and making me look like The Bitchy White Girl Who Drops Visiting Her Black Ex And Tears Him Away From His Son Only 'Coz She Now Has a Brand New White Boyfriend. He even got a hug from Hugo!!!

Well, I did manage to get him admit I'd been through a lot more than he'd originally admitted, and that I'd been right in calling the police and going through the court etc... -and he was definitely going to change now, and was giving us time to realize how he was reliable again...

But I had to please please go on Monday and help him not to be jailed, please please do this one thing, go late to work and help me or I'll be in jail for two years... 'If you don't see me here on Monday I'm in jail, and I'll phone you from there so you know' -all of this in front of the three kids, so that they could all say I was taking him to jail.

So I did go on Monday, had been sent by him to the wrong building and after waiting for 45 minutes at the place where I'd been declaring so many times, I found out where I should go and by then he'd been and gone, and every little detail was just as I'd said :D All this time I'd been phoning him to check the right place -as I had phoned him so many times during the last few weeks, to get no reply and him saying I hadn't bothered- and realized on Tuesday he'd changed his mobile, and I didn't have the new number!

Of course, I've been talking about this to my friends, I haven't told Nate about it yet 'coz they used to be friends and it's a bit dodgy to tell him when B. is being a bastard, so i didn't even tell him anything last night when he was at my place... but I have told I., and he was worried I might have B. wanting me back -' =))hahahahahhahaha' was my reply! I said anyway, he'd probably disappear as soon as he's not worried about the jail shit.

This morning got a call from a mobile I didn't know. B. doesn't think it would work out, Hugo is being strange towards him -what the f**k did he expect!!???- and he really doesn't know if it's worth trying it, going through visiting him as I'm sooo busy. It's not the same when you're single or when you've got a boyfriend -yes, he thinks I'm still with Joan and I guess it's safer that he keeps that idea, a macho man respects a woman more if she has a man behind her...- so, between working and my boyfriend and Hugo, I don't seem to have time to dedicate to visiting B. And I should watch out, as Hugo seems a bit sad, his only good times in his whole life were with B. I SWEAR HE SAID THIS!!!

Anyway, as I wanted to just make B. know I had been to check out his sentence, though we hadn't met there, on Tuesday I told Hugo we should go see his dad and he didn't want to go. Not at all. Only if his sisters were going to be there.

Aaaahhh... not to worry, then. But now he's had a taste of seeing his sisters again, and the dirty bastard is pulling back again. Don't know how to explain this to Hugo.


Anonymous said...

Auri, please please please don't trust that bastard again!

O.k.,o.k.! said...

Don't you worry, it's over. Completely.Totally. Never ever again.