How (Not) To Celebrate A Birthday

Step One: Do (Not) tell two of your best friends to think up some cheap-ish but tasty dinner to make at your place

Step Two: Do (Not) tell them to bring along their kids for dinner, planning to stick the teenager ones to look after the 8-yr-old so you can go out with your friends

Step Three: Do (Not) change your plans in the last moment, and send your teenage daughter off with her boyfriend for the weekend, forgetting to tell your friends

Step Four: Do (Not) decide that, as your daughter won't be with you on your b-day, you might as well go out for dinner with your mother

Step Five: Do (Not) forget that your two best friends are already planning the dinner they are supposed to be cooking in a few hours' at your place

Step Six: Do (Not) forget that one of the said friends is counting on your daughter to babysit so she can celebrate your b-day with you

Step Seven: Do (Not) laugh out loud when the said friend phones you to ask what time you should meet and should we go straight to your place with the food

Step Seven B: Do (Not) say you are having dinner with your mom, so we shall meet later to go out dancing, forgetting your friend is stuck with her kid now

Step Eight: Do (Not) say 'Well, you can come and have dinner with my mom and me, then... if you really want to'

Step Nine: Do (Not) be surprised when at least one of the two friends gets pissed off and says she's not coming for dinner

Step Nine B: Do (Not) be surprised at the other one turning up with the kid and the presie, but huffing and grumbling about not being able to go out later on thanks to the new plans...

Step Nine C: Do (Not) be surprised at the friend who is able to go out with you later on, when she says she'll be a bit later than expected, seeing as she has had to change her dinner plans

Step Nine: Do (Not) be too nasty to the guy who phones you up to go see to your comp now, as his friend is ill and he's had his Friday Night Plans cancelled.

Step Nine B: Do (Not) show off too much by saying it's your b-day and you're celebrating it with some friends, but not asking him if he wants to join you

Step Ten: Do (Not) feel too hurt when your friend who is taking ages in turning up, mad as she is 'coz you changed your plans, finally sms you to say she's going to the cinema, after all, and shall see you some other day

Step Ten B: Do (Not) spend all your money in buying a phone card for your mobile, trying to get your friend to come downtown to you, and have no money left to pay for the dinner

Step Eleven: Do (Not) count on your mother carryibg money on her either, as she'll be using plastic in a trendy place where they don't accept it

Step Eleven B: Do (Not) forget to say thanks to your broke single-mom friend who ends up paying for everything, while waking her 8-yr-old up as he fell asleep at the restaurant

Step Twelve: Do (Not) eat your words back and phone that guy to see if he still wants to mend your PC after all

...And, above all, Do Not Blame Anyone Else But You!!!!