Sunday, July 25, 2004

So many things to say...

Been quite intense these days. In many senses.

Vel is here from Denmark, so I'm clubbing a bit more than I really should -remember I'm not working yet!

Been really ill with brnchitis, and am getting really better now. Before I was just faking, because I was so sick of staying in... and it's so hard for a drinker to keep off any alcohol while clubbing and having next to you someone acting Tourist Girl and ordering Caipirinhas and so on, while I'm on to milk shakes or Red Bull -straight.

But the worst has passed now. Been really pissed off about one job -a temp thing, but well paid and a good chance t actually get in my c.v. as Management Assistant, what I'm aiming at. I guess I should head that way now, but it's not easy to get into the listings... a month at some temp place doing this would have been great.

I was finalist among 4 possible secretaries... and was already counting on how it would help me even pay August's mortgage.

But it didn't happen.

...Been to the beach a few times, late in the afternoon, as I like it, at the nudist... and some times honoring Vel's Turist Trip I've been there at lunchtime!!!!!
My ups and downs are proving and pointing out the truth: I am starting to admit it... It feels like I'm falling in love, that crazy stage where you walk for 20 minutes to sit at a cafe where you reckon you may have the chance to see Him... but shall not go to the bar he told you he hangs out at.

By the way, saw him last Friday night, he was totally drunk, wasted, he told me something in my ear and I could not understand a thing...
Anyway, I knew what I was getting into, that' s the reason why I kept fooling myself and trying to ignore him with the  -unknowing- help of other guys...

It was curious to see Nate and Eva together yesterday, Vel and I were curious to see how they'd get on... Mad Spanglish Rasta Meets Female Mick Jagger -it was fun, anyway.

And as to things that have been going on in my mind... some other time. Had too much time to think, to go over my life, my cycles, my history, actually couldn't concentrate reading because I've been too immerse in y own thoughts. Am almost back in my Nietzschean days, so many years ago... I hope it is not merely because there is this guy driving me as crazy as that bastard did.................. Mary-Anne, you know what I'm talking about, right?

Been remembering the days of Billie Holliday playing on my record player, and Carlos forcing me to turn it off.


O.k.,o.k.! said...

Today's trip to the beach has proved too much:

*The cute-guy-with-a-scary-girlfriend was there, passed just by me. Vel was laughing out loud, saying it's destiny, since I set my eyes on him I've come accross him soooo many times...

*Seems like my skin is starting to complain about so much sun on it. Back to night life, worse for the liver but better for the skin.