Wednesday, August 18, 2004

Too lazy

to actually tell you all our stuff from Valencia and from Eva's wedding. Shall go into it later on, am catching up with all my emails and job applications etc...

But uploaded the digital pics into Flickr and it was too hard not to play around a bit with it, posting some of the pics before going into details. Because details there shall be, Velena, don't worry. Want to transmit it as I lived it, can't do it now.

Been funny, been nerve-wrecking, been awkward, been hot, been many things in a short, short time.

Want to talk about the guys there, at the wedding... the cuban community we met, the good, the bad and the ugly sort of thing... want to talk about some really funny and intelligent guys we met, and some really dumb and gross ones too... want to talk about our quest to find a bar that actually served fresh orange juice in Valencia, believe it or not we only just managed this on our last day there!... want to talk about how I felt about Eva, protective and close, at a moment she was out of her mind with tension... want to talk about the good things and the bad ones we came across, but specially want to talk about my aesthetic experience at IVAM, can't go into details now but I am set to find out more about a whole load of new artists I hadn't noticed before...

...and really must find out about the one who made me sweat, cry and almost faint by feeling absorbed by this sculpture. Something like what happened to Stendhal when he first saw Florence.
Eva didn't know this part of me, and at first thought I was joking. I really almost fainted after having one of my pure aesthetic experiences, a bit like what happened years ago when I walked into the Gilbert and George room at the Tate in London, and refused to leave though my friend was insisting... I think I actually had mentioned some time before during this summer I have started feeling my raptures and emotional floods of my Nietzschean days. This was a typical reaction to a strong, hypnotic vision. Am back in 1990, 1991, when I would get lost in my own hood, after watching a certain film (Dead Ringers, for instance) or would go crashing into people because I had to walk looking up into the sky, couldn't bear the faces around me......

For some reason, i went back to read the posts I made last winter, when losing Joan.

Feeling vulnerable, as I have been through a lot in a short time.