Thursday, December 11, 2003

5 days' silence!

I'm managing not to call Joan, not to text message him... the worst part is every lunchbreak, when he used to phone to see how my morning had been. Can hardly eat any lunch, as my stomach cramps thinking I'll have no more happy calls from him... at least for a looooong while.
Gooood, how I miss him!!!!
Nate has been around, welcome back to comfort me and glad to do so, too. He's really nice, but I have to go through my pain from losing Joan before getting more involved in old flames... though it does help to have someone loving, who cares, and who sits by your side kissing you gently as you try to sleep.
He is, as had been, a great guy. I love him, missed him during my relationship with Joan as he tried to keep out of the way, and am glad to see him and talk on the phone now and then. But I am not in love with him, and though he has been very good to me, I never really was. I love him but am not in that insane state you go into when you really need to hear someone's breath, hear their voice over the phone for the n-th time, watch someone in their sleep... It's a shame, but true.