Uncomfortable Moral Victory

Had told Hugo I'd go see him at school before he went to do his homework and use the computers at the esplai. But. Was busy, very busy, and got slightly later than expected, and hoped he'd walked on to the esplai.

As I approached his school, I saw him arguing with this friend he has, quite a slow guy, big, fattish and not too bright for his age -a bit older than Hugo. They've become closer friends since Hugo started getting hooked on his Gameboy, as the other kid wastes spends most of his free time playing on his gameboy and says he knows zillions of tricks... though he fails every single exam at school!

So, I caught up with them and asked what was the problem. It seems this guy had to take his little 4-year-old brother to their godmother's bar, so that the guy could go 'study' at the esplai. The little one hated his brother for some reason and refused to leave the step he was sitting on. The big kid didn't know how to make him move. Hugo felt bad about leaving his mate on his own with the problem, but didn't want to be late at the study group either... he was getting really nervious.

So I asked the name of the little one, asked why he didn't want to move, ended up by picking him up and carrying him in my arms, and asked teh guy to lead me.

Where do we have to go?
To my godmother's bar.
Ok, but (smile, grit teeth) where is this bar?
Well, this way, but he wants to go that way, or else he'll cry again
Ok. Take us to the bar. Now. Please (grin)
Yes, this way.

God, he's so slow walking along chatting with Hugo, me carrying the other kid, who I don't even know, and talking calmly and reassuringly to him, asking him his age, saying I thought he was 5 -that always works on kids his age ;)- and found out he was sick of being bossed about. As Hugo and his friend were so slow, i told them to hurry, and asked which was the bar, in case I knew it. He said the name of the street.

Shit.
Double shit.
In that small street, there's only two bars. One is my friend's, and he's definitly not the kids' godmother. The other one used to belong to this woman I can't stand for a number of reasons, had to teach a few English classes to some years ago and stopped talking to. She's an uneducated, badmannered abusive tank storming among the rest of people in the hood. She used to laugh in public and call me names due to my pretentious prices when teaching, not realizing I was actually charging her less for the few classes I stood with her... Anyway. I hoped that the kid meant one of the restaurants, or that the bar had changed owners -I obviously never step into that bar.

We finally get there, and I ask the kid to walk in ahead of me -just in case, so that they're not shocked at a stranger walking in with the little one in arms. This long-haired guy I don't know smiles and comes up to me, saying 'I think this parcel is mine' and I hand the kid over. Then I see hugo's friend talking to The Big Tank. Yes, she's the godmother! And she just stared at me, i said they were in trouble and I knew J. through Hugo, so I'd carried the brother here. The guy thanked me. She never moved from her eternal seat, at a table with a beer in front of her. No thank you. She started to interrogate both kids, furiously, but J said he had to leave, so she was left there, speechless. No thanks, of course. I smiled 'Bye' and left.

Hey, little big fat bitch, I am -as always- a much better person than you are ;)

Just proved once again I was right, you're a bitch :D

International Marketing and Commerce

International Marketing and Commerce course: ten days evaluation

Yeah, been to 10 sessions so now I can give my first second impressions first general impression:

• Met three of the four main teachers. Two are great, highly qualified and dedicated, fun to listen to and good communicators. The other one is... lousy. Unefficient. Unexperienced.
• Unfortunately, must say the bad one is the only woman in the team we've met. Must admit we're now fearing the other woman shall be similar!
• Am much better at this than I thought! Most exercises are not just fine, but I get parts of the problem solved other students don't even realize about :D
• Am one of the three people who often speak up in class, who offer solutions during discussions, etc. Am often asked by fellow students when they're not sure about something. Me thinking I wouldn't be at their level!
• Already known to be bitchy!!!!!! Got people saying 'Aurea es Mala' with a giggle!!!!!
• Got people thinking I can cast spells, only 'coz I said our lousy, nervious teacher might get a sick leave due to depression if we keep pressing her... and today this teacher was half an hour late!!!!!!!!!
• Am really glad I took the course, and part of me hopes I can survive on the dole till March, to do the whole course. It is worth it, once we deal with Miss Nerves.
• Part of me is still job-hunting, though more calmly, and shall have to consider what to do if I get a job before March.
• Am not going to blog that much, with 5.5 hours a day at the course... but am still jotting quick notes on the other blog now and then.

Again!

Can't believe it! She did it again!

Called me last week a couple of times telling me about all the terrible things she's going through, and can we meet this weekend.

Called on friday to make sure if I'm going to her place with my son, or her coming to Barcelona. We agreed that, if it was sunny, we'd go to her place -if it's cold, Barcelona better.

Didn't reply to mobile nor phone until about 5 pm, by which time I assumed plans were cancelled and had eaten already, and when she does pick up the phone it seems her boyfriend, whom she'd ditched last week, had flown from Italy to see her and she was too besotted to remember text messaging me to make my own plans!

So, to apologize, she offers to meet on Monday for lunch, after my classes. I insist in making the arrangements already, but she prefers to phone or sms me during the morning -i.e., during my classes- to agree on our meeting point. She already knows where we'll be eating.

No phone calls nor messages. I phone a couple of times at coffee break, but nothing. Classes end. Nothing. Phone her, after sms-ing her. Still nothing.

Really pissed off I storm into a sandwich bar, read Thursday's paper, promise myself not to believe her again, phone once more and leave a bitter message, saying she'll phone some day and we may meet before she leaves Spain end of the year...

Then I get a message saying she's at a job interview, they phoned her as she was waving her boyfriend good-bye at the airport. So, twice in 3 days she forgets the minimum decency of sms-ing a note so I know what's going on???!!! Hey, I'm a single mother too, and often late, and often change plans due to work interiews-school meetings-etc, but always sms on my way wherever, so people aren't just standing around waiting for me!!!

Intimacy

It was his birthday yesterday.
I sent him a text message, at 12:20 a.m., full of hints and private jokes. He immediately phoned back, grinning his words out amazed I remembered.
He'd caught all the double-sided references and went on with the joke.
We did our regular Happy Birthday Mister President thing.
He said he'd get in touch soon, as he could hear in the background who I was with, someone he didn't really feel like seeing.
A couple of hours later we started with our sms exchange, famus by now.
Wasn't sure if his jealous gf was with him, so everything was based on coded jokes, just little things to make him smile, and his replies also made me feel close to him.
Declined meeting him, knowing he'd have a croud around.
Felt he still knows me, we both still care.
That's the main thing I miss from him.
He really knows how to make me laugh. And how to show he remembers little details.
Happy birthday, babe.

VENT / WORRY

Definition: vent (EXPRESS FEELINGS) [Show
phonetics]
verb [T]
to express a negative emotion in a forceful and often unfair way

O.k., I'm getting back to my own calm, zen-inspiring self (laugh tracks omitted, please)after many a conversation over the American Elections, both online and live -these the best ones, beers helping us cool down a bit- and trying not to read too many articles on them, so I don't get back into my sour mood.

I can now say I still admit, as one of the letters to the editor at my regular newspaper pointed out, that 55 million Americans did vote against Bush and are just as sorry -or even more so, being directly under his thumb for another 4 years- and ashamed as us wise Europeans.

So, sorry to all you American guys'n'gals... I do stand up for you a wee bit too often for my taste, actually, but it's getting harder and harder to discuss American society, with the apalling Foreign Politics 'n all...

Besides, am too worried right now considering Arafat's imminent death and how Palestinians will deal with it. Sharon is simply being himself once more, blatantly undeterred by The Guardians Of Peace -hi, Junior!!!- and oposing to him being burried in Jerusalem, as he wishes... and preparing for more military action. Excerpts from the NYT:

Yasir Arafat, the Palestinian leader, was in serious condition on Thursday in the intensive care unit of a French military hospital after a drastic deterioration in his health. There were conflicting reports that he was fighting for his life.

It was a day of fast-moving and occasionally bizarre rumors but little hard information about the health of the 75-year-old Mr. Arafat, who for 40 years has personified his people's struggle for an independent state.

After both the Israeli media and the prime minister of Luxembourg declared that Mr. Arafat had died, the head of communications for French military health services felt compelled to issue a formal denial.

[...]

Mr. Arafat's decline touched off a flurry of political activity in Jerusalem and Ramallah, where Mr. Arafat has been confined for the past two and a half years. The Israeli military drew up plans to deal with possible unrest in the aftermath of his death, while political officials began searching for ways to ensure that, in the event of his death, Mr. Arafat would not be not buried in Jerusalem.

Palestinian officials focused on establishing lines of authority to keep up the day-to-day operations of the Palestinian Authority while Mr. Arafat is incapacitated, with Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei assuming some of Mr. Arafat's financial powers.

For some reason, I have the feeling the International Powers -UN, US, and so on- shall continue looking somewhere else when all this bursts ...too much Jewish money around. And once again -political correctness obliges- I shall point out am talking about Politics and the people who support Sharon, not the jews worldwide in general.

Bush Jr Again!

Si no lees ingles... version espanola, que no traduccion ;)

I have honestly been trying not to blog the American elections the way I did with the Spanish ones -remember? I even thought I'd skip the results, maybe a side comment on this or that and even maybe at O.k., o.k., it's me! instead of here. But while I was having breakfast today, reading and glancing over bits of news, I really had my mind ticking fast -for a change! And you know once I get obsessive about something, that's it: a time/space warp!

So in fact, instead of ignoring this subject, i am actually blogging on both sides, both languages, but versions of my thought instead of complete translations. I have had a few messages from English speaking friends, asking how I'm managing to bottle up my thoughts on Bushy Boy these days... But I am simply trying not to get so involved, last February/March I got so hot'n'angry I erupted in spots got into a permanent sour temper as soon as something related to Aznar and Co. was mentioned!!!!!

The main point is, in Europe and specially Spain, there has been a long dislik towards Bush and American Politics in general... that often lead to a simplistic desdain towards the whole of US!!! I am sick of saying -as many other pseudo-calm debaters-Bushy Boy does not represent the whole of America, but now, with such a huge amount of votes... this is no longer easy to say.

Right, I can drop a couple of acceptable names to remind people that America is not only the WASP red-necks -say Woody Allen, Tim Burton, Tarantino, Lenny Kravitz, and other European-Standards accepted Americans :P. We can discuss the Beat generation, technology, Silicon Valley -poof! haha! sorry!- and FX, personal friends and artists we truly admire... but it is getting really hard for self-proclaimed European Liberals not to look at America over our shoulders. It is not something I like to do, and it really pisses me off when people I know sum up American Culture with Macdonalds and Coke, and Teenage Movies... But please, do help us a bit to understand why???!!!

The Old, Wise Continent was leaning towards Kerry. In general. Not talking only of left-wing parties, but as a general feeling. Bush has been too much of a School Bully. Too obtuse. Too ignorant. Too much the representation of what we understand as The Ignorant American. Newspapers, radio and TV programs talked over and over about what would happen if...? but seemed to trust Kerry would win... or at least get really close! At the bars, regulars kept talking it in a higher or lower depth, but generally hoping for a change. Almost giving it for granted.

Machine to Drop your Shoulders in Despair

But no. It didn't happen. WHY? Probably because we can not apply European logics to the USA. Not saying that Americans aren't logical... but am talking about a different approach towards culture, politics, Foreign Affairs, news coverage... in general, by the man next dorr, not only proffesional analists. Americans seem to ignore an awful lot of what is going on abroad. They also seem to have a highly censored vision of their own domestic affairs, having the same kind of media as -almost?- in dictatorships, in fundamentalist countries... yet they proclaim themselves as The Land of The Free???!!!

We Europeans usually tend to imagine US is an enoooormous NY/L.A., with a few desertic areas in the middle. Inland doesn't really exist much in our vision, the rural America is only a place where teenagers camp and get their heads cut off... so it is really hard to extrapolate.

Europeans who spend some time at the US -studying, working... not just visiting- often use foreign news as a way to learn about what is really going on. Europe ignores a lot about African affairs too, for instance -yet I feel the general approach is slightly less self-centred. Or perhaps it isn't.

We do tend to think we're more and better informed than the US. It may just be the same old thing, reversed.

Another 4 years!

One last thing I really wanted to stress: the radically different effect Bin Laden's video has had on American votes, as opposed to the Madrid Bombing had on Spanish elections. This is really important: first, because we were discussing in Spain the possible 'Vote For Fear' that didn't seem to happen, whileas in US it has been possibly behind quite a good deal of the new votes. Second, because inSpain it was the last straw: Aznar's government had been so wildly egocentric and so manipulative that even before the bombing there was a strong awareness among the youth, that this time they should really make the effort of getting up earlier on Sunday and vote. But the way they tried to lie to the whole world, UN included, and demanded help from any possible source to make it clear that Islamic Terrorism had nothing to do... That was the final act. Nowadays people read all sort of news from Internet, not always reliable for sure, but it is much easier to double-and treble-check news.

It is getting harder and harder to manipulate people who really want to be informed. If they want to be informed. There's millions who are sitting confortably in front of the telly, swallowing whatever they receive... but for those who are eager to learn, there are many other ways of information. I truly, honestly, hope the US has voted out of analysis, not purely as a side-effect to a video or what Father So-and-so says.

Wouldn't you like to be the President of the United States?

And... what the hell shall Junior do now????!!!