NW is back on his attacks. He seems to be mad about me again. Phones to say he misses me. Phones saying he's been thinking of me all day long. Sends sweet sms that almost make me blush.
Problem?
I'm not in love with him. I love him, I like him, but have ben going on and on at this same story for years. About 7 years now, with a 2 year break when I was with my bf. And he admitted it would be easier when we got back together again, last year. He knew I was never going to live with him.
But he keeps on trying.
Feels nice up to certain extent. Then I start feeling weird. Daren't phone him when I feel like meeting, as he may get too many ideas in his mind if we spend too much time together.
God, life seems much easier for those who are married!!!
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
Saturday, January 08, 2005
Obsessiveness
Once more, been hiding at home for some days. Thinking. Driving myself mad. Over and over.
Then, bang! my son is back, and with him the need to behave myself. To be cheerful. Happy, even. And usually he does help me snap out of my moods... Specially now, Christmas time, Kings and so on.
But. Last night I found out someone I know is much worse than me. REALLY!
We had dinner last night. He'd also studied philosophy, and specialized in Aesthetics.
He's trying to find himself lately, he'd dedicated too much time to earning money, and lost his emotional intelligence. And is trying to find a way back.
He told me last night, as a matter of fact, that when he reads most books, he copies them out on his pc, types them all word by word, then he separates the sentences and grades by importance. He does that with most books he reads, except novels.
I felt sane.
Then, bang! my son is back, and with him the need to behave myself. To be cheerful. Happy, even. And usually he does help me snap out of my moods... Specially now, Christmas time, Kings and so on.
But. Last night I found out someone I know is much worse than me. REALLY!
We had dinner last night. He'd also studied philosophy, and specialized in Aesthetics.
He's trying to find himself lately, he'd dedicated too much time to earning money, and lost his emotional intelligence. And is trying to find a way back.
He told me last night, as a matter of fact, that when he reads most books, he copies them out on his pc, types them all word by word, then he separates the sentences and grades by importance. He does that with most books he reads, except novels.
I felt sane.
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Giggling old men
...sitting next to me, the youngest must be about 60, were trying out their 'appeal' on a chat. Hilarious. They spoke Spanish with a southern, rural accent. One was typing, another one was giving ideas, and a third one was explaining what it was all about to the fourth old man. This was on New Year's Day, at a cyber, surrounded by loud youth and feeling totally integrated.
They seemed to get into a porn link. That cyber has a strong protection against porn. The typical notice flashed up in English, warning the page was forbidden. They were reading the English as if it where Spanish, letter by letter, and one asked "So, where are the girls?".
Had to log off and leave hiding my laughter in a fake conversation on my phone. Just couldn't strain my eyes to check their chat lines any longer.
Happy New Year.
They seemed to get into a porn link. That cyber has a strong protection against porn. The typical notice flashed up in English, warning the page was forbidden. They were reading the English as if it where Spanish, letter by letter, and one asked "So, where are the girls?".
Had to log off and leave hiding my laughter in a fake conversation on my phone. Just couldn't strain my eyes to check their chat lines any longer.
Happy New Year.
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