OK, OK!

Happy holidays!

2010-12-24T10:54:00.000+01:00

The change we need: Obama, 44th president of the US!!!!!!

2008-11-05T06:34:00.014+01:00

I'm speechless. Tearful. So happy.
Thank you everybody!!!!

Let's celebrate!

Ftom Barack's campaign blog:

Thank you.
You did it. You showed America -- and the world -- that change can happen.
Thank you for the miles you walked, the doors you knocked, the phones you rang, the hard-earned dollars you gave, the spirit you committed to this campaign. Thank you for never wavering, even when the days were dark, the clouds grayed the skies, and the rain poured. Thank you for tuning out the static of the cynics and believing in your power to change this country. Thank you for all the late nights and all the far too early mornings, for trudging through the bitter cold of winter and wading through the oppressive heat of summer to canvass in your communities. Thank you for the rain-soaked jeans, the mud-caked sneakers, the sweat-drenched t-shirts, and the snow-covered scarves and hats. Thank you for your patience; thank you for your perseverance.
Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need | Sam Graham-Felsen's Blog: You did it!

Yes, we can!!!!

2008-11-04T01:45:00.007+01:00

I have lately been microblogging quite a bit on Obama.
I really want him to win. I need it, I think it's the best not just for US, but for most of the world. A change, a deep change, is necessary in the US.
And any other option scares me.
So, I've decided to send all my good vibrations towards US and Obama's supporters by compilating part of what I have been posting at Tumble & Fall.
Have a look and, if you are a US citizen, please vote for change.

I…believe that every American has the right to affordable health care. I believe that the millions of Americans who can’t take their children to a doctor when they get sick have that right…We now face an opportunity - and an obligation - to turn the page on the failed politics of yesterday’s health care debates. It’s time to bring together businesses, the medical community, and members of both parties around a comprehensive solution to this crisis, and it’s time to let the drug and insurance industries know that while they’ll get a seat at the table, they don’t get to buy every chair.

Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need | Policy Issues

Campaign Get on the Bus: Early Vote in Ohio (via BarackObamadotcom)

For the last eight years we’ve tried it John McCain’s way, we’ve tried it George Bush’s way. It didn’t work. It’s time to try something new.”

- Barack Obama Barack Obama and Joe Biden: The Change We Need | Obama Road Blog: Road Blog Rewind: Barack Swings Through the Southwest

First Time Voters in North Carolina (via BarackObamadotcom)

Obama and Biden's Plan for America.
Obama Blueprint for Change

Get your own at Scribd or explore others: Politics Campaigns and Electi obama Change

These two boys waited as a long line of adults greeted Senator Obama before a rally on Martin Luther King Day in Columbia, S.C. They never took their eyes off of him. Their grandmother told me, “Our young men have waited a long time to have someone to look up to, to make them believe Dr. King’s words can be true for them.” Jan. 21, 2008.

Callie Shell - Obama - Digital Journalist

A New York Times article reports that as a college student, Barack Obama, one of the two leading contenders for the Democratic nomination for President, was interested in Nietzsche, Freud, and Sartre. A hopeful sign! I would have been worried if as an undergraduate he had been enamored of Kant or Hegel!
Brian Leiter’s Nietzsche Blog: Obama and Nietzsche

More stuff at
Tumble & Fall, tag: Obama | Barack Obama's issues | Barack Obama's campaign blog

...and 5!

2008-10-29T17:59:00.004+01:00

Sorry, but I'm currently at my Spanish blog, at twitter, at tumblr ...you name it!
Check the links above ;-)

4 years already!

2007-10-29T17:55:00.000+01:00

Google Calendar just beeped me: it's 4 years since I started O.K.! O.K.!

I know I've neglected this blog, and am too busy tweeting away or frenetically adding blurred pics to Flickr, or having a beer or two with my friends, going to some concert -or even working!:P

I've mentioned this anniversary on my Spanish blog -with a parallel post, slightly different- and I can not resist the idea of recommending you, English readers to check out the great idea Papel Contínuo has had: they've compiled a CD worth of great '70s and '80s songs, plus a couple of current bands, related to ghoulish stories suitable for Halloween: Tonadillas para un Guateque de Jalogüín ;-)

See you soon, I hope, and have fun!

Happy Whatsitsname

2006-12-27T12:08:00.000+01:00

...And a Really Happy 2007 to you all ;-)

Back to Basic (s?)

2006-09-14T13:26:00.001+02:00

Over a year ago I found out which file extension I am. I'd swear I'd taken the Programming Language test too, but I may have drafted it soemwhere and left it fall into oblivion.

Tiem to find out which programming laungage I am today -as usual, I guess if I took the same test in a different mood, I'd have replied differently and become something more exciting... Though I DO love the GOTO:Hell idea ;-)

Which Programming Language are You?

By the way, I DID get to program in BASIC, way back in my teens. One of the two girls in the computer group at school :D

New error encountered

2006-08-27T17:21:00.000+02:00

001 java.io.IOException: No space left on deviceblog/56/1/okokitsme/archives/2006_08_01_okokitsme_archive.html

... what?

Still alive

2006-08-26T18:24:00.000+02:00

...but not kicking. Sick of football. Sorry, Mousey!

So what do you think about Beta?

2006-08-16T11:21:00.000+02:00

Just wondering.

By the way, I can't migrate yet, would like to know from people who can.

AND... don't know what I typed in last night to do the Beta trial, I can't get back in today :(

Missy Pro Blogger, there I go again!

UPDATE: PROBLEM SOLVED!

Reminded me of Mary-Anne

2006-07-24T13:50:00.000+02:00

As we share the same sign -Aries- I guess it must be applicable to her, too. I hardly ever read this subscription to a daily horoscope I have, but sometimes I do for laughs.

Hence today:

Dear Okok,
Here is your horoscope for Tuesday, July 25:

Some people need to ask permission -- unconsciously or consciously --
before they do anything. But, that impulse is totally foreign to your nature.

Higher forces and a much different agenda drive you.

And then you realised...

2006-07-10T10:50:00.000+02:00

As usual, Scott Adams manages to make us laugh at something that usually pisses you off -let it be politics, let it be work conditions...

Adjusting to new job

2006-05-22T01:29:00.000+02:00

It's been quite hard these last 10 days or so: had just started at one new job, not too well paid but high chances of a decent wage in three months' time. Importing tropical fruit, so I'd have a chance to work with many of the documents I'd studied about but had never actually used -FitoSanitary certificates and so on. But I had this offer from a medical investigation institute, not a high wage but a great atmosphere and an interesting job in an interesting environment.

I finally decided to move on to the institute, and am really exhilerated with having made my mind up -but have loads of work ahead, to get deep into the processes so I can start helping the coeditor of a scientific magazine with the editorship e-mails back and forth, among other loads of tasks!

Sorry to some of you trying to contact recently -am hardly touching my personal computer these days!

Erased your blog by mistake?

2006-04-24T00:42:00.001+02:00

After seeing how many people at the Google Blogger Help Group are as silly as I was and manage to delete their blogs by mistake, and after making a way-too-long comment on Blogger for Dummies, a highly recommended place to get your blogging ABC, I decided to copy and paste the said comment I made, so as to make a post out of it and have it handy as a reference instead of going on and on and on at the Blogger Help Group about this matter.

The big news is this: Blogger CAN RESCUE your deleted blog.

It happened to me in February, while playing around with my Spanish*, much more active, blog Ok, ok, it's me!. As I was trying out a specially complicated hack I decided I'd open a new temporary blog to ruin completely, and not use the one I already have for template experiments... but when I had to copy part of my good blog and opened a new window to have both templates available at the same time, I should have felt that ominous feeling... which didn't come until the second after clicking the "erase" button. As my finger was on the down movement a pray the mouse would get stuck came instantly, when I saw the name on the bar...

At the time of deleting I had 455 posts -a tad too many for the cache rescue, which is what I frantically did while waiting for reply from Blogger. So I would like to encourge people to try this -although getting a grip of caches in the meanwhile is also reassuring:

OH NO! I DELETED MY BLOG!

Immediately, OPEN A NEW BLOG -under your same username- WITH THE SAME URL (the name you should see on the bar) of the deleted blog. This is VERY important, so that no-one can claim that URL on purpose or unknowing your problem. You can paste there your template, that should be saved as Peter explains every time you change it, and the cache versions of the latest posts, at least, and -in my case I did this- an explanatory post so that readers know why the archives etc are gone.
Before all the cache recovering and pasting, SEND AN E-MAIL TO BLOGGER SUPPORT explaining what has happened. You shall get an automatic reply within a day or two, but don't let that put you off: Blogger seems to have a centralized staff for the whole worldwide community, so they get rid of silly questions like that. REPLY TO THE AUTOMATIC E-MAIL YOU RECEIVED and state clearly what happened, that you erased your blog by mistake.
Now you can go through caches, cry and tear your hair out or write 10,000 times 'I shall not click on a button without reading it' while you wait for the next, personal, email you shall get from Blogger. A staff member shall contact you and ask a couple of questions but IT DOES TAKE A WEEK OR TWO -In my case, about two weeks. Once in touch with a Real Person, though, I got my whole blog back again, comments and all, and a warning that the new version i had done meanwhile to keep my URL would be replaced when I republished. So,
Make the temporary blog a new one, if you have been posting actively in the mean time, by modifying its URL before republishing. This way, you shall have your old blog, a new temp one to copy&paste posts from and a lesson learnt -one hopes!

Exchange of e-mails between Blogger Support and me -It finally happened!

* See Spanish version of this post here.

Don't worry,

2006-04-14T16:31:00.000+02:00

I know it looks weird but am fiddling on the HTML.

You know how I do the "bit by bit" changes, so it'll take a while till I get it fine!

Living in a film...

2006-02-12T22:44:00.000+01:00

Have you ever had that deja vu feeling, when watching a film? Or have you not stopped sometime in real life, thinking you should be running into Nicolas Cage any moment?

Haven't you ever felt like you're in the middle of...

a Woody Allen film? -Yes, I studied Philosophy, like soooo many of the girls wondering around his films/plays...
Also, when going through the n-th session of pseudo-analysis with The Guy, as he crawls into your bed and monologues about his guilt and his feelings for you
an Almodovar film? -Yes, waaaay too many times ;) -no further comment !
a Lynch film?- Yes, like when climbing up a roof to gey P. down, who was crawling higher and higher in a dazed slow motion
a Spike Lee film? -God, yeah! Junkies in my flat, demanding me B.'s money, and dealers stalking me as they knew I was his woman!
a French intellectual-talky film? -Often, when discussing Isa's problems and her fantasizing onlove triangles with her husband's best friend
Saturday Night Fever? -Hahahahaaha yes, at Magic with N.!!!! ;)
Saturday afternoon tv films? -Yes, as a struggling mother hiding from wicked ex and trying to make up for the lost father...
Spanish 70's films? -Sometimes, when I encounter the Original Spanish Chuloplaya specimens -ask some Spanish speaker if you don't know the word!!!
a Tarantino film? -Not yet! Ô_o
Battle Royale? [Okok slowly walking away backwards, smiling, not losing eye contact] -no... I used to love my students!!!

Freedom in Blogdom

2005-09-26T09:43:00.000+02:00

As I was aha-ing and ahum-ing to my bosses over the phone a moment ago, I checked Bloglines for my favourite feeds and bumped into this.

I'll quote the introduction:

Blogs have given individuals of any and every background the ability to freely speak their minds and share information with anyone who chooses to read it, at any time they wish to do so. Bloglines was created for people as a window to access this world of dynamic content and a way to participate in its creation. We believe blogs have helped enable an open exchange of information that has never before been possible. As some of you may have heard, the Federal Election Commission (FEC) is reviewing its regulations concerning political speech on the Internet, including blog activity. Bloglines is committed to the continuation of open exchanges of information and opinions throughout the blogosphere and the Internet in general. Today, the Committee on House Administration is having a hearing on this issue. In the spirit of these beliefs, I have provided the Committee with the following statement.

Follow the link to read the statement... and tell me once more that All Americans Are Bush

Fortunately, THEY ARE NOT ALL BLINDFOLDED REDNECKS.

Soon to come...

2005-08-27T17:21:00.000+02:00

Changes on the template. But when I have time to do it, and a secure pc... Am usin lousy cibers now because they are cheap, and sometimes they don't even warn you of your remaining time... You can guess the rest ;)
Pics from my trip to Colera, nera Portbou... beautiful place, just waiting for my photos to develop ;)
Dedication. There I go, I am feeling like coming back to this blog a bit more often again, so...

And, I hope, a few changes in my personal life. Am making my mind up -now it's a matter of actually going ahead with it!

My own fault

2005-08-17T19:48:00.000+02:00

Here I am. Been messing around a bit too much these last few days, bad moods and tiredness being the excuse.

Now I had everything quite scheduled for the last three days before my holidays, and then...

I'm having to do this evening what I expected to do tomorrow in 5 hours. Because tomorrow morning I shall have a long, unexpected meeting, and then I'll have to help re-organize the last of our old filing system. And I had already scheduled tomorrow afternoon to go through everything my assistant shall have to do while I'm away, and see if my indications are clear and she understands what and when..

Yesterday I was quite happy thinking I had most of it seen to, I'm actually ahead of myself and have solved things due for next week and so on. Now I realize I should have taken more seriously those corny secretarial tips in the mags, and left twice or three times as much of my daily schedule free for The Unexpected!

Anyway, not going to post while camping :P but probably will do once am back.

C. U.!

Pisssssed off, I am

2005-08-08T20:18:00.000+02:00

No, my assistant is not going to have her part of our task done in time.

I guess it shall all fall back on me, as I agreed on her taking two days off last week. But how the hell did she go onto doing this other shit for september, instead of our basic task to give in tomorrow???!!!

Am not correcting the partial ammendments, as there may be major changes still and it would be useless.

But, of course, the R. A. Officers are now freaking out because they can't cope with tables in Word, and are wasting so much time adjusting format that they are not progressing in the real work, compiling information in the tables.

Sometimes I do wish I could start off some new Church. Talk people into my knowledge, get them to see me. Remember, Mary-Anne?

Stuuuuuuupid summer

2005-08-08T13:39:00.000+02:00

I have hardly noticed it's summer this year.

I mean, it's hot, o.k. And I have had a few nights out, as you can read at the other blog -even had the odd flirt and so on. And more than so on, anyway.

I have also had some friends in town for a month, with the logical change of sights, spending time with them, new conversation, actually talking intelligent stuff with them instead of the typical crap.

Yet, I still don't feel I'm in summer. House is a crappy mess, as I hardly realize I've been -gulp!- over a month without Hugo around, and keep postponing the really needed 'spring clean and turn it all inside out'. Have only been to the beach once this year, and only thanks to the aforementioned visitors. No beachy evenings lazying on the sand, after work. No cycling around town -the fact I haven't got a bike might help there.

Not even last week, sitting on a soggy beach deck chair, at the CCCB's cinema sesion, did I feel quite in August.

Suggestions, please.

Can't believe it

2005-08-05T22:56:00.000+02:00

Driving me mad, this is

LIFE IN THE CITY THIS WEEK: UPDATED 02/08/05

2005-08-02T18:12:00.001+02:00

CCCB starts today its August open air film cycle: Gandules... Original Versions, odd films, usually a cool atmosphere to spend a hot summer night: Tue-Fri, at 10:00 p.m., free entrance but don't go too late.

CaixaForum also opens every Wednesday 'till midnight, and has free activities and/or really cheap ones -dance, live music, videoart...

MACBA is open 'till midnight on Thursdays

The Verdi cinemas show short films or cortometrajes free at 21:45h (Verdi)& 22:10h (Verdi Park)

Still in time to catch the last few Thursday Film Sessions at Fort Pienc (Near Arc de Trionf) at ten p.m., too.

Somehow, I could have guessed...

2005-07-28T13:16:00.001+02:00

Yet another silly test I needed to try ;D

I'm Krusty, who are you? by NoHomers.net

Don't you wonder...?

2005-07-28T11:41:00.000+02:00

Dear Okok,

Here is your horoscope for Friday, July 29:

Concentrating on anything other than those dear to you just won't work out well. Your thoughts will be impossible to control, as will a sudden tendency towards stubbornness.
Don't talk yourself out of it.

Be yourself.

Sometimes I do wonder if there is some truth behind daily e-mailed horoscopes

Basecamp theory

2005-07-26T19:37:00.000+02:00

Ian had gone on and on about his theory. Both him and me, we are the sort of person you can describe as a 'Base Camp': people pass by your life, know you, love you, leave you... and drift back to you when in need of support, warmth. Help.

Joke or not, we went through our various relationships, not just lovers but also friends... and it has been quite a pattern.

Joan, my ex, whom I was losing when I started this blog, has split up with his current girlfriend and is counting me as his closest friend to go through his depressions and moods. He admits he feels bad about 'using me' now he's going through all this, 'after all I made you suffer' -but I am in fact quite enjoying the intimacy we had gained again while he was still going out with the girl, and am happy he knows I'll be there as a friend whenever he needs me.

Though I must admit it does sting every now and then.

The incident is continuing.

2005-07-21T17:12:00.000+02:00

Just read on the Times Online, while glancing through the news on todays' scare:

Large parts of London were cordoned off after the bombs, including University College Hospital, near Warren Street, where armed police reportedly chased a man - thought to be a bomber - into the building.
Soon afterwards, an internal memo was circulated among hospital staff asking them to be on the alert for a black or Asian man, 6ft 2ins in height, wearing a blue top with a hole in the back with wires protruding from it.
A press spokesman for the hospital confirmed that armed officers were inside. The incident is continuing.

It's the last sentence that most worries me... For how long???

Envelopes

2005-07-18T21:21:00.000+02:00

Dragging two big envelopes from work, for the las three hours, not noticing any post boxes and worrying about losing them.

Right now, propped by the screen. Just in case.

Better post them before ~~drinking~~ meeting my friends.

LIFE IN THE CITY THIS WEEK:12/07/05

2005-07-15T13:49:00.000+02:00

15 - 17/07/05Copyfight Copiright, copyleft and copyfight!

15 - 17/07/05Interferencias...Performance and vindication

Every Tuesday Golferichsoffers free live music.
6/7: URBAN ACTIVITY, electronic jazz at Golferichs

The Verdi cinemas show short films or cortometrajes free at 21:45h (Verdi)& 22:10h (Verdi Park)

Been told there's this free open air Reggae festival at the Parc de l'Espanya Industrial - Sants Estació-on Saturday 16th, planning to check it out but haven't seen any info.

Tell you why I was so silent...

2005-07-11T18:34:00.000+02:00

...Because I was concentrating on my new career. That, and more in the Okokitsme mood.

Right, first I was studying, and had a load of homework to see to. Also, dedicating ever sooo much time to jobhunting, and getting involved with a few blogs and bloggers who kept reading my Other Blog, specially because it was in Spanish -but not only.

I didn't have much time to blog here too. Nor did I feel like the thoughts were for this one, but the other blog.

Take it as it is, or forget about it. I know a few other people with more than one blog, and they tend to do this sort of thing every now and then too. So enough about this.

Then this new job turned up. Very promising, but really hard to get used to -once again, loads of new info to get used to, and if this time I didn't have to learn by heart the codes for medical equipment and every little dangly bitty in plastic or wire we may need to replace, I did have to get deeply involved in Procedures, and corrections, and almost forcing people into sticking to newly implanted procedures in a nice, happy-go-lucky environment. And try not to be the Bitch From Hell to them.

Which seems to have been the case. Quite integrated now in the team, I've been given the assistant they'd promised me for September. She has started today. And I have been given a higher pay rise than agreed, and after only a month and a half, instead of the six months we'd accepted.

So, I guess, it was well worth dropping this blog for a while ;)

But am back.

____

P.S.: For those of you who used to read me... Summer Season has been officially inaugurated... ~~New lovers~~ ~~Whiskey&Red Bull~~ Artistic and Cultural activities for free in the street, freedom after work... You know what I mean ;)

Back at last

2005-06-28T15:41:00.000+02:00

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Shame on me and all that ~~shit~~ ~~shite~~ stuff. Blah blah blah.

Funny how who most complains is who regularly reads my active blog and, probably, hasn't bothered checking the secretarial one -no wonder! ;)

As soon as I get my stuff organized, I'll be posting here again. Summer >> No son around >> more spare time after work >> loadsastuff to read, gals!

See you soon... and if you do really miss me, let me know ;)

Yessir!!!

2005-05-11T20:09:00.000+02:00

Keeping my mouth shut for what seemed ages has worked -am starting at a new job on Friday 13th!

By the way...

2005-05-11T15:32:00.001+02:00

I admit I've abandoned this blog a bit, while posting up to twice a day -or more- on what was supposed to be the Alter Ego. In fact, have seen some signs of decay coming up. But as am gradually getting back to my Jeckyll moods, and shaking out Mr. Hyde, I guess I'll get back into these shoes soon.

One of the main reasons is I got read by quite a few bloggers who I appreciate and who wouldn't follow me in English, so I got used to my Spanish blog. Another reason is, as I stated when I created it, that I was not feeling comfortable with my old blog... but that's over now. I've seen the same old thing happen elsewhere so I know I'm not the only one out there getting in and out of blog-moods ;)

Just a few more hours

2005-05-11T15:13:00.000+02:00

...and I'll find out.

Can't help telling people, can't really let myself tell everybody yet.

But am so sure it would be a real blow in the stomach if it doesn't happen.

Why I should have studied science

2005-04-29T13:16:00.000+02:00

...or at least stuck to my technical side when I was a teenager, starting to learn BASIC but bored by the nerdness of it all

New Sighting

2005-04-25T13:31:00.000+02:00

Remember The Man, The Macho Borracho? Well, he might have been out of sight, but not out of mind...

I had been wondering if he'd even left town, or moved elsewhere. I had horrible visions of him finally finding His Woman in the -must admit, quite interesting- woman I last saw him with. Hadn't bumped into him since September, living only a metro stop away from him and having the habit of passing by similar areas...

I finally saw him pass by the window while eating a sandwich at a bar near his flat -don't know EXACTLY where, but I do now it's near that building X"D. That was just after Easter.

This Saturday I finally got to see him again, and thought mught have a chance to talk. But he was absent. Strange. Probably feeling down, not himself. Not dancing. Not even drinking. Just talking now and then to people who went up to him. When I moved up to him, making a casual remark -Not dancing? Lack of space or lack of energy?- he was sort of apathic, moody. He talked to me a bit, but I saw it was best to leave him to his thoughts.

As I watched him later on, he was still the same, talking to a friend, and soon left.

God, how I wish I could get closer. It was, actually, the time I've felt less warmth and response to me since we met, years and years ago. Must stop being childish -shhhhh!

She's done it again!

2005-04-13T21:18:00.000+02:00

Eva's had another accident!!!!

Now she seems to have finally got a settlement about the time the bus knocked her down, and has had her false teeth nicely fitted, she fell doing summersaults and cartwheels in an underground parking space -Mary Anne, no comment! -Vel, empty your mouth then laugh!

So she has a broken elbow and I am not only helping her to type -do her homework. I have also to open her beer bottles, carry her stuff around...

Yes, as Unky says...

2005-04-11T15:06:00.000+02:00

I am quite busy lately -stop laughing, Mary-Anne- and have just realized I haven't posted here lately.

To sum it up: I am still looking for work and in the process of Becoming Officially a Secretary. Hard, as I can not focus on their typical speech tone and have become too used to dressing extra-casually during the last -gulp!- 10 months, almost.

Been to a few interesting interviews, just been told I'm out of yet another process I've been going through. Am still waiting on a certain project, and am totally out of The China Project U.U

For some reason, I seem to write more often at other places... check the Btracks if you're desperately looking for news ;D

My Free Sample Personal Astrology Profile

2005-03-26T12:37:00.002+01:00

Birth Date and Time..... March 26, 1968 12:30 AM
Birth
Location............. West Hartlepool, United Kingdom
Sun
Sign.................... Aries

Your Sample Reading:
Help Glossary

Section 1: How You Approach Life and How You Appear To OthersYou are
very strong-willed and proud, but intensely private and not easy to know well.
Behind your quiet exterior lies a great deal of emotional depth, sensitivity,
complexity, and also fierce determination. When you want something you go after
it rather quietly but insistently and wholeheartedly - and you usually get it. Find
out more with your full-length reading...

Section 2: The Inner You: Your Real MotivationYou are a person who
thrives on challenge, and you often feel that you must battle your way through
life, depending upon no one and nothing but your own strength, intelligence, and
courage. You believe in being totally honest, true to oneself and one's own
vision and convictions, even if that means standing alone. Honesty, integrity,
personal honor, and authenticity are your gods, and you have no sympathy for
weakness of character in others. Find out more with your full-length reading...

Now that you've read
your Free Sample Personal Profile, discuss it with a live astrologer for free!

_____________

It's funny, I don't usually go for this sort of thing, but it came from my Birthday Alarms for free... and its quite accurate!!! Ô_o -What do you think, Mary-Anne, Vel? -better than the .extension thingy yesterday :P

Fun (?) ;)

2005-03-25T13:23:00.000+01:00

Going through Brian's page I just had to take this test.

Which File Extension are You?

Yes, you guessed it: I found a cheaper cyber un town ;)

Easter Babies

2005-03-24T12:35:00.000+01:00

Now I've got a few days with my family, at least I can get closer to my cuuuuuute nephew:

...And this morning I woke up to read a text message from poliwhirl, saying Allison was born yesterday XDDDDD

At least the interview was ok!

2005-03-21T20:31:00.000+01:00

Had to leave my son at MacDonald's again, as it was drizzling when I went to the interview. I had planned to leave him at some swings nearby, but couldn't leave him alone in the rain!

What else now?

2005-03-21T12:58:00.000+01:00

Was watching TV with my son & cat, cozy family evening with low light, the air heater on and all three of us huddled up on the couch, blanket on us, feeling close and comfy.

Suddenly, as I was dozing off, my son elbowed me asking what was happening to the lamp!? It was spluttering, going on/off weirdly, so I got up to check, couldn't see much to it and switched it off saying the bulb must be about to go off.

Hours later, a bit chilly, I went to the fridge for some more food for my son -a.k.a. The Eating Machine- and as I open the door, the light doesn't go on! uh-oh! No, I start touching different bits of food, yoghourts, drink cartons, and they are cold, but not as they should be!

You're right: the whole electric line that goes along this wall has conked out. Hahaha. Great. Sunday evening. Loads of things to do on Monday, as we're leaving on Tuesday for Easter holidays. And I have a doctor's appointment at 3 for my son, and a job interview at 5!

Electritian swanks in this morning, fortunately he could give me a mo before going to some *important repairs* and he checked my wall with a beep machiny thing.

Yes, the two sockets here are not working, but this one here does, so I've
plugged your cord here and plugged the fridge into it, moved the two cupboards
and bookshelf so it looks tidier, and shall come tomorrow, to mend it all. Now,
at least, the fridge is ok, the food won't go off. 29 euro, please ;D

Happy Easter!

2005-03-18T18:18:00.000+01:00

Probably not going to post much in Easter -maybe some vents on the b-track.

Am spending Easter with my family [shudder, shudder] so I'll be listening to those theories about what I like reading and what I don't, about the kind of film I'd like to be watching instead of whatever I'm sitting through in family... Anyway, at least Baby shall be centre of attention and leave me to hide in a corner for a while :D

By the way, it had been quite a while since I'd got an invite to talk with someone on the Y! Messenger and flicked to a pornfile like this one! Promises are promises, I'm still making them public. No, I didn't reply to him... it was 'Ignore'.

Chaos

2005-03-17T13:45:00.000+01:00

Why do you have to spend weeks sending c.v.s to get no reply, and then get four phonecalls one same day, some when you just can not pick the phone, with no number to reply to as they are from some big corporation system that says 'We are affraid you are calling the Automatic Answering Machine, which is now saturated. Thank you for calling'???

Why do you get a call for an interview just as you're walking into another interview, switching the phone off, and have to make your mind up in seconds as whether to pick the phone or ignore and shut it off???

Perhaps the chaos in "Popup" has something to do with it.

Me? I've just got out of the trance sitting in front of the pc watching reverse.-flash.-back

All in the family

2005-03-13T23:06:00.000+01:00

Been to see my parents and little V! ...well, ok, also my sis & bro'nlaw
Am so amazed at my sister's change!!! She actually has become Patient!!!
Anyway, am really glad V is feeding better and putting weight on -he was born prematurely, remember?

And I know these pics are mainly of my sister, not the baby...

Finished!

2005-03-10T14:52:00.000+01:00

The course is over!!!!!!! -38 minutes ago ; )

Now there's NO EXCUSE!!! Serious jobhunting ahead. Yesterday evening I got a phonecall for an interview, but the wage was lower than quoted on the offer. This morning I got a call saying I hadn't been chosen for a certain job, but still in another process. Sigh, back to this again ¬¬

Glitter

2005-03-07T14:13:00.000+01:00

Seems weird how people stare at me today at Financial Risks session, just because I'm covered by glitter. I went to a theatre yesterday, and the magician gave my son some glitter powder to help him on a trick. The glitter ended all over me, and is hard to get rid of. But is pretty.

The motto today seems Is that glitter you've got on your hair???!!!...And everywhere else???!!!!

This reminded me of Oliver

2005-02-26T20:14:00.000+01:00

Weird

2005-02-22T16:02:00.000+01:00

Seems strange seeing my little sister as a mother. Seeing how she has~~thank god!~~ changed , she's more patient -not saying much!- and seems... sweeter.

But then you see her hubby calming the baby, you see her commanding the operation of The Bath, you hear rules reminded quickly -it's not right to shower now, dear, what were you thinking? can't you see it's babybathtime? You see how it takes 8 hands to bath a baby and many trips back and fro to get stuff left in baby's room.

Then even my mother admitted the baby had been fretful because of my sister's nerves at first, and broinlaw was calming both.

Still, it's weird... and baby is so beautiful, so minute, so delicate...

Love is (not) in the air

2005-02-12T22:22:00.000+01:00

Valentine round the corner, and no-one to cuddle into? Why not end it all with the Love Gun -may not kill you, but shall give a final twist to your reputation!

Job search again

2005-02-12T17:30:00.000+01:00

Well, all my plans of finishing my course before getting back to intensive jobhunting have gone down the hole: Am getting over a hundred euro less from this month on, so I can't afford to go on studying and taking my time. I did get paid for the computer literacy workshop I gave at Hugo's school, but that wasn't much and shall simply cover my negative balance and give me a few days' rest. Not even 'till I get my next pay.

Now I was starting to feel happy again, useful, inspired... there it all flops again!

Anyway, am glad I saw G. last week, he's progressed so much since I last saw him! And, talking about progressing, my nephew is also catching up and shall soon be home.

One, two, three: booooo-riiiiing! I know, I know, just been writing a long post elsewhere, and can't be bothered...

Hour&half at ciber + a can of Red Bull (R)

2005-02-11T18:27:00.000+01:00

Not been too avaolable on this blog, though you can catch me up on the B-sides...

Money driving me mad, getting less from the State from this month on since I've been on the dole for over 6 months -which no-one had been bothered to inform me about!

The other thing is the looong selection process O'd been in has ended with a virtual tie-up between me and someone else, and guess who was finally left out? Sigh times 300!

Anyway, down to the cyber with a can of Red Bull (R), to check on job offers once again, and set my mind to work.

I see you caugth an earlier ticket!

2005-02-01T14:10:00.000+01:00

Well, in case you didn't kow, my sister was pregnant. Her whole pregnancy has been as stressful as could be expected, and she

Phoned and smsed people as soon with the news, Predictor(R) still in hand
Almost lost the child a few hours after realizing she was pregnant
Had to spend 10 days in bed/on couch after that, to let the baby settle
Quit working fultime, went on to part-time, as the doctors said she could 'go back to normal life' and full-time work seemed un-normal
by the time she was two-month pregnant she stopped doing the shopping, being her hubby the one in charge by then..

... Need to continue? Anyway, I'd guessed she'd have a premature baby, and so she has! On the 33rd. week, but baby's fine, in incubator, and she's ok, considering all the complications in these premature ceasarian births. I did ask her, Can't you ever take it easy? Couldn't you just give birth at due time?

Well, in any case, am glad it's over. Now the baby days come!!!!!!!!

Time for romance?

2005-01-11T15:36:00.000+01:00

NW is back on his attacks. He seems to be mad about me again. Phones to say he misses me. Phones saying he's been thinking of me all day long. Sends sweet sms that almost make me blush.

Problem?

I'm not in love with him. I love him, I like him, but have ben going on and on at this same story for years. About 7 years now, with a 2 year break when I was with my bf. And he admitted it would be easier when we got back together again, last year. He knew I was never going to live with him.

But he keeps on trying.

Feels nice up to certain extent. Then I start feeling weird. Daren't phone him when I feel like meeting, as he may get too many ideas in his mind if we spend too much time together.

God, life seems much easier for those who are married!!!

Obsessiveness

2005-01-08T01:14:00.000+01:00

Once more, been hiding at home for some days. Thinking. Driving myself mad. Over and over.

Then, bang! my son is back, and with him the need to behave myself. To be cheerful. Happy, even. And usually he does help me snap out of my moods... Specially now, Christmas time, Kings and so on.

But. Last night I found out someone I know is much worse than me. REALLY!

We had dinner last night. He'd also studied philosophy, and specialized in Aesthetics.

He's trying to find himself lately, he'd dedicated too much time to earning money, and lost his emotional intelligence. And is trying to find a way back.

He told me last night, as a matter of fact, that when he reads most books, he copies them out on his pc, types them all word by word, then he separates the sentences and grades by importance. He does that with most books he reads, except novels.

I felt sane.

Giggling old men

2005-01-02T23:31:00.000+01:00

...sitting next to me, the youngest must be about 60, were trying out their 'appeal' on a chat. Hilarious. They spoke Spanish with a southern, rural accent. One was typing, another one was giving ideas, and a third one was explaining what it was all about to the fourth old man. This was on New Year's Day, at a cyber, surrounded by loud youth and feeling totally integrated.

They seemed to get into a porn link. That cyber has a strong protection against porn. The typical notice flashed up in English, warning the page was forbidden. They were reading the English as if it where Spanish, letter by letter, and one asked "So, where are the girls?".

Had to log off and leave hiding my laughter in a fake conversation on my phone. Just couldn't strain my eyes to check their chat lines any longer.

Happy New Year.

X-mas fun

2004-12-28T21:10:00.000+01:00

As every year, back home again for 24-25-26th and expected to be there 'till the 27th... but fortunately, a friend of mine was back in town only for Xmas, so I had to leave on the 26th in order to meet him. And we had been trying to see each other for over two weeks, so there was no doubt what to do!

One of the things I've noticed lately is that my son is getting to see through my family, noticing the little things that piss me off -how my sister's soooooo incredible in every single thing she does, while as I am a disaster and even my son behaves better if I'm not around! So, now I have an ally to whisper to at night, talking things over... On the other hand, I don't want him to get too distant from my family. Must find the right point.

Anyway, our best moments were 1) opening the presents, 2) the half hour I made my son wait in bed with me before going down to look for them, so it wouldn't be too early for everyone else, and 3) our excursions to the swings, on our own!

The worst moment was the night of the 25th, my sister having another go at us, shouting and bangign doors as we'd woken her up! -This was impossible, the noise from her room was before we walked up the stairs and into 'her area'. I thought I'd walked into an argument between her and her husband, but it seems it was all due to me -so uncaring, so stupid!

Movable Menu

2004-12-28T00:39:00.000+01:00

We finally got winter in Barcelona! God, it's cold right now!!!

Am at a friend's flat, really cold. Coming up to her neighbourhood is an odissey. It's always a couple of degrees lower here than in the centre of Barcelona.

Came to help with some university tasks. Was bribed this morning by the image of prawns for dinner.

The menu kept changing, though:

10 a.m.: We'll get some prawns, and some nice wine. I'll ask my bf to do the shopping. yes, let's have a niiiice dinner.

Great!

6 p.m.: I think there are some caneloni in the fridge, my mother made them. That'll be nice, huh?

What happened to the pr-? well, never mind!

10 p.m., already at her place: Uh, can't find the caneloni. L. must have eaten them. But some nice fried chicken shall do, ok? Am making some soup out of my mother's leftovers she brought in a tupperware.

Hmm. The soup smells nice, fine. Chicken then.

10:15 p.m.: Hey, instead of fried chicken it shall be grilled chicken -all right?

Hey, whatever you have. Don't ask any more, because I keep salivating towards one taste and then you change your mind!

10:20 p.m.: Well, the soup should be ok, do you want anything else with it or will you have enough with the soup?

Don't look at me like that!!! No!!! NOOO!!! Leave that chopping knife!!!

O.k., I admit this last bit was made up. But almost. Me starving, finally had the famous soup and some bread & ham. Very little bread & ham.

And it's cold.

Easy Cam

2004-12-24T13:14:00.000+01:00

Cam,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

This Easy Internet cyber has good prices for the monthly tickets, but is expensive for normal pay-per-hour use! Crappy installations, no Word, Excel, etc on the pcs so you can't touch up documents and instead of headphones yo have TELEPHONES!!!

Plus round crappy cams dangling from the wires, most of them either snatched or not working, and always almost impossible to balance (ROUND!)so people prop them up with all sorts of things, sticks them with chewing gum to the screen... Or go Mc Giver-style, as the girl next to me ;)

Just a small reminder...

2004-12-23T18:40:00.000+01:00

Sneaked from :The Fillmorewith all my love ;)

Play with your imagination, but don't let the important things out of focus ;)

Happy Cristmas,

New Year,

everythig!!!

Thank God We Couldn't Get That Car!!!

2004-12-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

Last night, I spoke to A. many times over the phone. She had given me two phone numbers, to co-ordinate the procedures to move her stuff from her old flat to her new room, one number belonguing to the guy who's rented her the room, the other one belongs to the girl who'll bring a car and take the stuff there, with my help.

Last night, besides inviting A. to spend some time at my place to recover from her mental, physical and nervious exhaustion, once she gets back in Bcn, I told her we had it all soted out for this morning's schedule. meeting aty my break-time from my classes, as she lived so close to the centre I'm studying at, and i'd see to her neighbour giving us the keys, getting stuff loaded in the car, etc. and send the other girl off to the new flat.

Then I developped this terrible back ache!!!!

I actually needed my son to help me to bed, and this morning I needed help getting my left sock and boot on!!! How am I going to help carry stuff down that terrible staircase!!!???

Then, shortly before leaving my flat, hobbling upstairs one step at the time, I got this sms saying the person who was driving the car couldn't make it today -Hip, Hip, Hooray!!!!

So, all I had to worry about was getting down to-and up from the underground, and up the satirs to my class, without looking too disgraceful.

Needless to say, dressed 'sensibly' today, to avoid atention!

This time it's not her fault.

2004-12-18T20:13:00.000+01:00

Dumped by M. again, phoned her at our meeting spot 15 minutes after our agrred time... and, of course, she isn't even in Barcelona!!!

But this time it wasn't her fault. Her son has just run away from the center he's interned at, with some other, elder guy, who has escaped a few times already.

She's been adviced to keep her other son away from home for the moment. When L.does turn up, whether it's today or in three day's time, she's been warned to expect bitter reactions and hard feelings. She can't give in, has to turn him back.

Can't help this time.

When should I start to say no?

2004-12-17T21:12:00.000+01:00

Been way too busy this week. No time for posting, reading blogs, messengering, e-socializing in general.

Getting a friend's stuff packed for her while she's looking after her -very ill- mother, working on another friend's essay I promised to help her with, keeping up with my classes, investigating yet another friend's son's centre...

Parents

2004-12-08T15:15:00.000+01:00

Cat invasion,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Went to visit my parents & sister. And brother in law, ok... but hardly saw him. Am not too used to living in a big family house, as I've spent so long sharing flats with friends or on my own, with my son. Am not too social, familywise -MA, check-spell that one for me ;).

But one thing that IS fun is checking out the new additions to the Family Zoo they have -hens, for the eggs, a turtle and a tortoise, a fish pond in the garden, a couple of fish tanks at home, a small ~~bitch~~ female dog and a larger male one, and a house cat downstairs with my parents and another one upstairs with my sis and broinlaw... plus a variety of street -or, more accurately, garden- cats they feed. Their latest love is tricky, who has stolen the position to Lady... Feeding them three times a day and managing not to let the dog eat the cats' food is real fun for Hugo!!!

Diana,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

My sister's cat...
As to my sister's cat, Diana, she's as fussy as her owner, so when her vegetarian mother is away, her cheating granny gives her york ham and bits of chicken -but still has to follow the rituals the cat demands!

This weekend was a long one, and there was a gathering of about 10 people for lunch at one time. All quite confused about what it is I'm studying, and even about me not having a boyfriend -they just found out I was with someone when I had actually split up allready... but that's another story! NEXT WEEK is gonna be even worse, like some corny film: my spanish granma is 95, so we're all gathering for a meal at a restaurant. Spanish family's all can really mean ALL!!! over 20 people, so far. I have no excuse not to go. Yet.

Anyway.

Pira,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Feeling much better now I'm back home with my cat and son -full stop! ;)

Beautiful Late Thirties

2004-12-01T18:10:00.001+01:00

...So serene, so placid!!!

Moi: Jobless, studying an International Commerce & Marketing course to see if I can become more competitive knowing the right terminology... Not knowng how I'll pay the next month's mortgage bill, and missing the adrenalin highs I used to feel this summer every time I saw -let's not even rememeber when I'd get to touch- the Macho Borracho!
E: Cops woke her up about ten days ago with a phonecall, her teenage daughter had been caught robbing some guys uptown, with a knife. Her -supposedly good-influence-at-last - boyfriend had got her into it.
M: Gulping Prozac down, her teenage eldest son is smoking pot -big deal! as I remind her, she used to smoke loads- and probably some other stuff is going on: becoming really out of control, she had to drop her great job she had finally managed to make click, stop flying Milano-Bcn for work, and concentrate on what's left of her family. Her new bf wasn't supportive about it all, and said he'd take for granted the younger son, who's fine, but wouldn't deal with elder one. He's now at a sort of de-tox camp/school or something??? Gotta get to see her and find out the straight details, her frantic sms are so mispelt I can hardly work them out lately!
Mi. cracked her shoulder, and with it her job as she's a fitness trainer... and has no dole due to irregular contracts, so she has had to rent her flat and move to someone else's place, outside Bcn
I: Finished her thesis for her Philosophy doctorate, trapped in a dangerous mind that now and then clicks the wrong way and surrounds her of tell-tale signs of the plot to turn her into a sect.

Forgot to remind you that:

Moi et E. are single mothers, no support from the state nor the once-proud-fathers
M. and Mi. had been married in a happy, placid middle-to high class surrounding, untill M.'s hubby became blatantly a womanizer and kept phoning his chick in front of M! -and Mi.'s hubby suddenly couldn't cope with family life!!! Now left on their own with sparce help from well-off exs who believe the little economical help given means the women still belong to them!!!
I. has no kids, and is married to a really intelligent, though also obssessive man. She has flings and affairs every now and then, hiding them from hubby. Alcohol dependence. Psychiatric treatment.

God, it's f*****g great to be a 30-something woman nowadays!!!

Uncomfortable Moral Victory

2004-11-26T17:50:00.000+01:00

Had told Hugo I'd go see him at school before he went to do his homework and use the computers at the esplai. But. Was busy, very busy, and got slightly later than expected, and hoped he'd walked on to the esplai.

As I approached his school, I saw him arguing with this friend he has, quite a slow guy, big, fattish and not too bright for his age -a bit older than Hugo. They've become closer friends since Hugo started getting hooked on his Gameboy, as the other kid ~~wastes~~ spends most of his free time playing on his gameboy and says he knows zillions of tricks... though he fails every single exam at school!

So, I caught up with them and asked what was the problem. It seems this guy had to take his little 4-year-old brother to their godmother's bar, so that the guy could go 'study' at the esplai. The little one hated his brother for some reason and refused to leave the step he was sitting on. The big kid didn't know how to make him move. Hugo felt bad about leaving his mate on his own with the problem, but didn't want to be late at the study group either... he was getting really nervious.

So I asked the name of the little one, asked why he didn't want to move, ended up by picking him up and carrying him in my arms, and asked teh guy to lead me.

Where do we have to go?
To my godmother's bar.
Ok, but (smile, grit teeth) where is this bar?
Well, this way, but he wants to go that way, or else he'll cry again
Ok. Take us to the bar. Now. Please (grin)
Yes, this way.

God, he's so slow walking along chatting with Hugo, me carrying the other kid, who I don't even know, and talking calmly and reassuringly to him, asking him his age, saying I thought he was 5 -that always works on kids his age ;)- and found out he was sick of being bossed about. As Hugo and his friend were so slow, i told them to hurry, and asked which was the bar, in case I knew it. He said the name of the street.

Shit.
Double shit.
In that small street, there's only two bars. One is my friend's, and he's definitly not the kids' godmother. The other one used to belong to this woman I can't stand for a number of reasons, had to teach a few English classes to some years ago and stopped talking to. She's an uneducated, badmannered abusive tank storming among the rest of people in the hood. She used to laugh in public and call me names due to my pretentious prices when teaching, not realizing I was actually charging her less for the few classes I stood with her... Anyway. I hoped that the kid meant one of the restaurants, or that the bar had changed owners -I obviously never step into that bar.

We finally get there, and I ask the kid to walk in ahead of me -just in case, so that they're not shocked at a stranger walking in with the little one in arms. This long-haired guy I don't know smiles and comes up to me, saying 'I think this parcel is mine' and I hand the kid over. Then I see hugo's friend talking to The Big Tank. Yes, she's the godmother! And she just stared at me, i said they were in trouble and I knew J. through Hugo, so I'd carried the brother here. The guy thanked me. She never moved from her eternal seat, at a table with a beer in front of her. No thank you. She started to interrogate both kids, furiously, but J said he had to leave, so she was left there, speechless. No thanks, of course. I smiled 'Bye' and left.

Hey, ~~little~~ big fat bitch, I am -as always- a much better person than you are ;)

Just proved once again I was right, you're a bitch :D

International Marketing and Commerce

2004-11-23T18:01:00.000+01:00

International Marketing and Commerce course: ten days evaluation

Yeah, been to 10 sessions so now I can give my ~~first~~ ~~second impressions~~ first general impression:

Met three of the four main teachers. Two are great, highly qualified and dedicated, fun to listen to and good communicators. The other one is... lousy. Unefficient. Unexperienced.
Unfortunately, must say the bad one is the only woman in the team we've met. Must admit we're now fearing the other woman shall be similar!
Am much better at this than I thought! Most exercises are not just fine, but I get parts of the problem solved other students don't even realize about :D
Am one of the three people who often speak up in class, who offer solutions during discussions, etc. Am often asked by fellow students when they're not sure about something. Me thinking I wouldn't be at their level!
Already known to be bitchy!!!!!! Got people saying 'Aurea es Mala' with a giggle!!!!!
Got people thinking I can cast spells, only 'coz I said our lousy, nervious teacher might get a sick leave due to depression if we keep pressing her... and today this teacher was half an hour late!!!!!!!!!
Am really glad I took the course, and part of me hopes I can survive on the dole till March, to do the whole course. It is worth it, once we deal with Miss Nerves.
Part of me is still job-hunting, though more calmly, and shall have to consider what to do if I get a job before March.
Am not going to blog that much, with 5.5 hours a day at the course... but am still jotting quick notes on the other blog now and then.

Again!

2004-11-16T17:41:00.000+01:00

Can't believe it! She did it again!

Called me last week a couple of times telling me about all the terrible things she's going through, and can we meet this weekend.

Called on friday to make sure if I'm going to her place with my son, or her coming to Barcelona. We agreed that, if it was sunny, we'd go to her place -if it's cold, Barcelona better.

Didn't reply to mobile nor phone until about 5 pm, by which time I assumed plans were cancelled and had eaten already, and when she does pick up the phone it seems her boyfriend, whom she'd ditched last week, had flown from Italy to see her and she was too besotted to remember text messaging me to make my own plans!

So, to apologize, she offers to meet on Monday for lunch, after my classes. I insist in making the arrangements already, but she prefers to phone or sms me during the morning -i.e., during my classes- to agree on our meeting point. She already knows where we'll be eating.

No phone calls nor messages. I phone a couple of times at coffee break, but nothing. Classes end. Nothing. Phone her, after sms-ing her. Still nothing.

Really pissed off I storm into a sandwich bar, read Thursday's paper, promise myself not to believe her again, phone once more and leave a bitter message, saying she'll phone some day and we may meet before she leaves Spain end of the year...

Then I get a message saying she's at a job interview, they phoned her as she was waving her boyfriend good-bye at the airport. So, twice in 3 days she forgets the minimum decency of sms-ing a note so I know what's going on???!!! Hey, I'm a single mother too, and often late, and often change plans due to work interiews-school meetings-etc, but always sms on my way wherever, so people aren't just standing around waiting for me!!!

Intimacy

2004-11-08T14:02:00.000+01:00

It was his birthday yesterday.
I sent him a text message, at 12:20 a.m., full of hints and private jokes. He immediately phoned back, grinning his words out amazed I remembered.
He'd caught all the double-sided references and went on with the joke.
We did our regular Happy Birthday Mister President thing.
He said he'd get in touch soon, as he could hear in the background who I was with, someone he didn't really feel like seeing.
A couple of hours later we started with our sms exchange, famus by now.
Wasn't sure if his jealous gf was with him, so everything was based on coded jokes, just little things to make him smile, and his replies also made me feel close to him.
Declined meeting him, knowing he'd have a croud around.
Felt he still knows me, we both still care.
That's the main thing I miss from him.
He really knows how to make me laugh. And how to show he remembers little details.
Happy birthday, babe.

VENT / WORRY

2004-11-05T15:03:00.000+01:00

Definition: vent (EXPRESS FEELINGS) [Show
phonetics]
verb [T]
to express a negative emotion in a forceful and often unfair way

O.k., I'm getting back to my own calm, zen-inspiring self (laugh tracks omitted, please)after many a conversation over the American Elections, both online and live -these the best ones, beers helping us cool down a bit- and trying not to read too many articles on them, so I don't get back into my sour mood.

I can now say I still admit, as one of the letters to the editor at my regular newspaper pointed out, that 55 million Americans did vote against Bush and are just as sorry -or even more so, being directly under his thumb for another 4 years- and ashamed as us wise Europeans.

So, sorry to all you American guys'n'gals... I do stand up for you a wee bit too often for my taste, actually, but it's getting harder and harder to discuss American society, with the apalling Foreign Politics 'n all...

Besides, am too worried right now considering Arafat's imminent death and how Palestinians will deal with it. Sharon is simply being himself once more, blatantly undeterred by The Guardians Of Peace -hi, Junior!!!- and oposing to him being burried in Jerusalem, as he wishes... and preparing for more military action. Excerpts from the NYT:

Yasir Arafat, the Palestinian leader, was in serious condition on Thursday in the intensive care unit of a French military hospital after a drastic deterioration in his health. There were conflicting reports that he was fighting for his life.

It was a day of fast-moving and occasionally bizarre rumors but little hard information about the health of the 75-year-old Mr. Arafat, who for 40 years has personified his people's struggle for an independent state.

After both the Israeli media and the prime minister of Luxembourg declared that Mr. Arafat had died, the head of communications for French military health services felt compelled to issue a formal denial.

[...]

Mr. Arafat's decline touched off a flurry of political activity in Jerusalem and Ramallah, where Mr. Arafat has been confined for the past two and a half years. The Israeli military drew up plans to deal with possible unrest in the aftermath of his death, while political officials began searching for ways to ensure that, in the event of his death, Mr. Arafat would not be not buried in Jerusalem.

Palestinian officials focused on establishing lines of authority to keep up the day-to-day operations of the Palestinian Authority while Mr. Arafat is incapacitated, with Prime Minister Ahmed Qurei assuming some of Mr. Arafat's financial powers.

For some reason, I have the feeling the International Powers -UN, US, and so on- shall continue looking somewhere else when all this bursts ...too much Jewish money around. And once again -political correctness obliges- I shall point out am talking about Politics and the people who support Sharon, not the jews worldwide in general.

Bush Jr Again!

2004-11-04T13:41:00.000+01:00

Si no lees ingles... version espanola, que no traduccion ;)

I have honestly been trying not to blog the American elections the way I did with the Spanish ones -remember? I even thought I'd skip the results, maybe a side comment on this or that and even maybe at O.k., o.k., it's me! instead of here. But while I was having breakfast today, reading and glancing over bits of news, I really had my mind ticking fast -for a change! And you know once I get obsessive about something, that's it: a time/space warp!

So in fact, instead of ignoring this subject, i am actually blogging on both sides, both languages, but versions of my thought instead of complete translations. I have had a few messages from English speaking friends, asking how I'm managing to bottle up my thoughts on Bushy Boy these days... But I am simply trying not to get so involved, last February/March I got so hot'n'angry I ~~erupted in spots~~ got into a permanent sour temper as soon as something related to Aznar and Co. was mentioned!!!!!

The main point is, in Europe and specially Spain, there has been a long dislik towards Bush and American Politics in general... that often lead to a simplistic desdain towards the whole of US!!! I am sick of saying -as many other pseudo-calm debaters-Bushy Boy does not represent the whole of America, but now, with such a huge amount of votes... this is no longer easy to say.

Right, I can drop a couple of acceptable names to remind people that America is not only the WASP red-necks -say Woody Allen, Tim Burton, Tarantino, Lenny Kravitz, and other European-Standards accepted Americans :P. We can discuss the Beat generation, technology, Silicon Valley -poof! haha! sorry!- and FX, personal friends and artists we truly admire... but it is getting really hard for self-proclaimed European Liberals not to look at America over our shoulders. It is not something I like to do, and it really pisses me off when people I know sum up American Culture with Macdonalds and Coke, and Teenage Movies... But please, do help us a bit to understand why???!!!

The Old, Wise Continent was leaning towards Kerry. In general. Not talking only of left-wing parties, but as a general feeling. Bush has been too much of a School Bully. Too obtuse. Too ignorant. Too much the representation of what we understand as The Ignorant American. Newspapers, radio and TV programs talked over and over about what would happen if...? but seemed to trust Kerry would win... or at least get really close! At the bars, regulars kept talking it in a higher or lower depth, but generally hoping for a change. Almost giving it for granted.

Machine to Drop your Shoulders in Despair

But no. It didn't happen. WHY? Probably because we can not apply European logics to the USA. Not saying that Americans aren't logical... but am talking about a different approach towards culture, politics, Foreign Affairs, news coverage... in general, by the man next dorr, not only proffesional analists. Americans seem to ignore an awful lot of what is going on abroad. They also seem to have a highly censored vision of their own domestic affairs, having the same kind of media as -almost?- in dictatorships, in fundamentalist countries... yet they proclaim themselves as The Land of The Free???!!!

We Europeans usually tend to imagine US is an enoooormous NY/L.A., with a few desertic areas in the middle. Inland doesn't really exist much in our vision, the rural America is only a place where teenagers camp and get their heads cut off... so it is really hard to extrapolate.

Europeans who spend some time at the US -studying, working... not just visiting- often use foreign news as a way to learn about what is really going on. Europe ignores a lot about African affairs too, for instance -yet I feel the general approach is slightly less self-centred. Or perhaps it isn't.

We do tend to think we're more and better informed than the US. It may just be the same old thing, reversed.

Another 4 years!

One last thing I really wanted to stress: the radically different effect Bin Laden's video has had on American votes, as opposed to the Madrid Bombing had on Spanish elections. This is really important: first, because we were discussing in Spain the possible 'Vote For Fear' that didn't seem to happen, whileas in US it has been possibly behind quite a good deal of the new votes. Second, because inSpain it was the last straw: Aznar's government had been so wildly egocentric and so manipulative that even before the bombing there was a strong awareness among the youth, that this time they should really make the effort of getting up earlier on Sunday and vote. But the way they tried to lie to the whole world, UN included, and demanded help from any possible source to make it clear that Islamic Terrorism had nothing to do... That was the final act. Nowadays people read all sort of news from Internet, not always reliable for sure, but it is much easier to double-and treble-check news.

It is getting harder and harder to manipulate people who really want to be informed. If they want to be informed. There's millions who are sitting confortably in front of the telly, swallowing whatever they receive... but for those who are eager to learn, there are many other ways of information. I truly, honestly, hope the US has voted out of analysis, not purely as a side-effect to a video or what Father So-and-so says.

Wouldn't you like to be the President of the United States?

And... what the hell shall Junior do now????!!!

Brazuca Matraca

2004-10-26T11:38:00.000+02:00

Posting in a hurry. Might have time later to change it... but have a meeting in 20 minutes...

Am going to see Wagner play tonight*, at Sidecar... his band's last gig in Barcelona this year -see link to his webpage on your left, in my Links list!

The story: I was at a bar with a friend a few weekends ago, and saw this gig advertised. Felt like going, but being a Tuesday thought I'd better forget about it. Then I told Eva about it, so we planned to leave Hugo with her daughter, and go together and then sleep at her place. So: a rush tomorrow morning -her flat is much further away from Hugo's school- and I'll have to take my interview clothes for tomorrow morning -second round for a temp job I'm interested in!!! ;)

______

* P.D.: I really had a good time!

How can I be so busy...

2004-10-22T18:47:00.000+02:00

...when I'm not working???

By helping my friends when they are ill or had an
accident
By offering to help those who are packing their stuff to leave this goddamn expensive city
By ~~wasting~~ spending time at my son's school, helping at the PTA (AMPA) office
By spending hours at the cyber checking infojobs and other offers elsewhere
By going to interviews and tests, being passed on to second interviews, and no further
By blogging about these interviews, or these work efficiency tests, and then losing the post because the pc at this damned cyber goes freaky and erases everything before I can save
By playing around with both my blogs, and reading endless posts here and there...
~~By cleaning and re-decorating my flat, now I have time to do it!~~ hahahaaha, can't lie!!!!!!!!
By checking silly things as my trackbacks, the updates and comments at Que Buscas QUÉ?! ... by the way, it seems I'm search by my name, more than once...

Must remember ;)

Fancy rice?

2004-10-20T13:17:00.000+02:00

Was browsing through The New York Times' digital edition and found this great headline:Looks Like Diversity, but It Tastes Like Tuna*. It talks about the supposedly ethnic restaurants' menus, as opposed to the real stuff once you're in Vietnam, India or whatever.

Quote:

"All you need are some different condiments, some different lighting and a
different-looking menu, and people think they're having a different meal," said
Mitchell Davis, a cookbook writer who teaches in New York University's
department of nutrition, food studies and public health. "They're not, because
they really want to be eating the same things: steak, cod and tuna tartare."

I have heard this from many friends who do travel, or are from different continents. I know it myself as the African Restaurants I've visited -Senegalese, mainly- have little to offer compared to my friends', some of whom are excelent cooks and have even published ethnic-oriented cookery books ;)

AAAAAHHH, and the (in)famous instant noodles sent by dozens to our Korean connection from his headquarters... way too spicy even for my asian friends, after jumping onto the bucket-styled packs I'd have given!!!!!!!! Still remember Mami pouring more and more boiling water into the bucket, to make it edible!!!!!!!

______
*If you want to read it, or any other suscriber-only stuff, try BugMeNot.com ;)

Long wait

2004-10-19T18:03:00.000+02:00

Money is running down. Am getting quite desperate for a new job now, either that or some fill-in task such as bartending cash-in-hand stuff, whatever to help me pay aaaaaaaallll those bills I have monthly.

Haven't had an interview for two weeks, I think, It's maddening, worse than being rejected after the interview. Of course, there are many jobs I turn down -many 'coz they pay less than the benefit I'm getting from the State right now, so I could never manage with that sort of wage...

Note to self: Do Not Be Too Honest At Interviews

First time on my own at the PTA office

2004-10-15T13:54:00.000+02:00

I already said I'd volunteered to spend 4 ours a week at the Parents' Association office, at my son's school, until I get some work...
Well, ever since I've had a few unexpected meetings I've been dragged to -at 9:30 in the morning, or at 4:30 when collecting my son- and have been handed a load of names but not who they are or what am supposed to do with them. Only good thing so far had been that I got to talk quite a lot to another mother I would have never met, who is just as pissed off as me due to the lack of commitment from the parents who are supposed to be running the PTA, who seem to want to be the Holy Saints Who Do Everything, cry for support and then never turn up to give you the minimum info you'll need.
Am staying only Thursdays 4:30-6:30, in the end, and extra moments to help preparing festivals, deco, food for parties, etc... but have also been an afternoon counting out plastic cups and plates for the next party -La Castanyada- and terribly exciting stuff like that.
Last night I got a phonecall from one of the mothers who run the PTA, and we'd agreed to meet this morning, to get my set of keys, info, etc so I can start properly next week. Ha!. I was there from 9:30 'till about 12:30 or so!!!!!!!!!! Re-organized files in the computer, made new lists with phones, timetables... and helped pack a load of books to return to the editors! This was specially good: I had a good laugh with the janitor, a young, intelligent, cool guy I talk to sometimes, and now we were just making fun at the way things worked (or didn't) at the PTA office.
To my horror, when the other woman left and asked me to finish off what she had started -by the way, the only box wrongly marked was the one she'd done ;)!- the school Head came to ask me if there was Theatre workshop today. I just stared at her blankly, and said I had no clue: Id try and find out!!! The phone list proved useless: the person in charge of the Theatre activities had only a landline and wasn't there, the PTA director had his mobile switched off, and the only person I managed to speak to was as lost as me!!! Inthe end, the Janitor said 'Forget it, we'll just say there's no theatre class today, it's Friday after all and tomorrow Saturday... just forget it ;)!

Talking 'bout theatre: been offered to assist for free to theatre lessons by a guy I know who teaches on Thursdays... as usual, no phone conections so I have to bump into him again to get the exact address... he showed me it once, his ad, but I was in a hurry right then...

So, if there's less posts lately it's because I'm posting quickies at my other blog , or busy busy at my son's school. Not because I found a job yet!

What a night...

2004-10-12T11:57:00.001+02:00

Last night I was supposed to teen-sit and look after Eva's daughter, who has crashed Eva's bike when she sneaked out with the keys to meet her boyfriend and go for a ride, while Eva was sleeping. Neither her nor the bf have the legal age nor the licence to ride that bike. Now she has a sprained leg, he has a fucked up knee, and Eva has a fucked up bike, that she can't even claim to the insurance as it was crashed by two teenagers, before Eva could even use it legally -she was waiting for October 19th, when the law changes and you can use a medium-sized bike with your car licence.

I was staying overnight just because she wasn't feeling too well, and Eva had a date. Which was a disaster. She left saying she'd phone next day to see if she'd come for lunch, yet by 2 a.m. she phoned to say she as already on her own, and on her way back.

I'd warned her. She'd got too excited with this new guy, after one night, and she said it was going to be great because she already knew him as an acquaintance of her ex's, and they'd been soooo well together... So when he phoned, to meet last night, of course I stayed at her place for her to go... but with a warning: don't expect too much!!! It seems I was right. They met, had a drink with some friends of his, he said she was great, but he was buying a house in another town with a girl, and was leaving the next day. So he was supposed to meet some other friends last night, to have the last drink, among which was a girl he was secretly in love with.

So they all left, she then found out they hadn't even paid for their beers, and she came home. To find her daughter laughing, explaining her adventure to her teenager friends -she'd told me it was ok for visits, there were about 4-5 kids here when she came back.

The rest of the night, after a big row with her daughter, was spent in going over and over her problems with men, her eagerness to find a love in the first guy who smiles at her, how she must keep her cool... And going over and over her problems with her daughter...

'I really hope that, well, that you get to do it better, or that Hugo is an easier teen... but I really hope you don't have to go through this. I just can't cope with her. I love her, really, and she isn't a bad person, but all she wants to do is hurt, hurt, hurt!'

Am now waiting for her to come back, and we'll go to Park Güell for a walk... guess she's been to catch Roger after taking his pictures of the sunrise.

Need a job

2004-10-11T13:34:00.000+02:00

On Friday I went to buy a present for Hugo's friend, gave in and bought a new toy for Hugo too, and walked out of the shop with 4 euro. Bank, let the card get me some money.

You have 7.56 euro

So. No money for the weekend. No money until Monday, at least. Unless we got in time to our lawyer, and pray we could cash the check on Saturday morning -being a legal matter, sometimes there are restrictions.

Also, had a date :P on Saturday, after Hugo's friend's birthday party. So I needed some cash to get me over that, get a few beers so as not to seem I take for granted men pay for everything. We'd already agreed to only have a few beers, no dinner out or disco to avoid expenses...

I guess I must have received the dole money now. But that won't cover mortgage, Hugo's school expenses, phone bills, etc -this month it was paid out of what I had left, next moth I'll have nothing by the time bills turn up.

Must shake myself up and make some decisions. So far, am pinned, am feeling useless, am not sure which way to take my first step. Too much time to think. Too little action. Must change my frame of mind immediately, before I touch rock bottom -my dear old place.

Guess so much time online isn't that good, either. Am checking jobs, of course, and have had many interesting interviews thanks to Infojobs' listings of jobs. Am really satisfied with how InfoJobs works. And the companies that use it are quite god ones, major companies, and local but serious.

But of course... online means also chatting, surfing -today's time-wasters were:The Crossroads - Pulp Phantom, Pulp fiction meets Starwars :P ; Jeff Bridges.com, his hand-written blog! O_O; Exactitudes ...so beautiful, so unsettling?: A good project; Fool's World Map ...how I relate, after so many embarrassing questions from co-workers, such as 'Italy is in Europe, right?'- we're in Spain, and that company worked daily with Italy, just accross our coast!!!

Should I list the interesting job ads today? Ok: .

Yes, you got it ;)

Big Mouth Strikes Again

2004-10-07T16:22:00.000+02:00

Been to a Parents' meeting at Hugo's school.

Couldn't keep my big mouth shut, so when they started moaning about always being more or less the same people at the meetings and helping with activities, I said I was only able to attend 'coz I was out of work, but had mentioned many times before at their office that they could try having some of their meetings on weekends. No, of course not, no-one wants to spoil their week-end to attend. Well, I had been working for the last 4 years from 9 am till 6:30 or 7 pm -and a year and a half it wasn't even in the same city as the school is! And just as me, many parents work at shops -open till 8 or later- or offices, etc also till late hours. So meetings on weekdays, at 6 pm, are not necessarily convenient to everyone.

So, after pulling faces at every other word the president spoke, as he defended no-one would go on a week-end, and that it is only these Holier Than Thou people who would help anyway, I only just had to offer help while looking for work. Which I already had done, at their office, but to some other members of the association.

Result? Can I just be quiet and help at one little thing, focus on my jobhunting and helping Eva out?... No, of course not. I'm not sure if it's a result of my recent migraine or what, but I ended taking four hours a week until I get a job, Tuesdays and thursdays, at their office, plus deal with their e-mails and mailing lists, plus help at the next couple of parties and events at the school. Ta-daaa!!! Just like I was so involved at Hugo's nursery... but without the financial help I was having back then, when Bernard still helped out... so i could deal with helping around and not just WORK, WORK, WORK!

Anyway... sweet side? finally got to see a face I was craving for ;)

Fira del Llibre-II

2004-10-01T21:33:00.000+02:00

God! Am a bookoholic, always have been, but sometimes my B:A: sessions seem to work better than others!

And in case it ain't enough with the books I have at home, waiting to be read, and the ones I've already thought of re-reading, I have been buying quite a load of them lately, reduced prices and little treasures...

On this same blog I've been talking about the load of books I bought before hugo came back, and then at my B-tracks I spoke about the ones I got last weekend at the Fira del Llibre, now I passed by again and bought some Unamuno essays I hadn't read yet for only 1.80 euro, an Elmore Leonard -in Spanish, though :(- I hadn't read yet for 2 euro, and Infernaliana , by Charles Nodier , in French also for 2 euro!

Am logging off, to get back home and read a bit ;)

Update: Eva's much better

2004-09-29T14:31:00.000+02:00

Am going to visit her in a few hours -expected to see her this morning, but phoned first and she said too many people were there already... so to go with Hugo.

Typically, she just phoned me now saying she's bored and can I go up to her place now? It takes ages, a long bus ride as there's no underground on her hilly 'hood, and I must be back in the centre in two hours, so no way can I go now!

Anyway, seems like she's feeling much better today. Has sick leave for 5 days, and must rest as she has a bad headache, and looks terrible, but doens't think it shall leave too many marks.

-------

Been playing around with my cameraphone late last night. Can see some of my new stuff on the B-tracks, or on the Zeigeist on your right ;)

Haven't uploaded all the trees and clouds pics I did yesterday... sloooooooowly, please as I'm not sure if the offer of free sending mms I received before this camphone is still applied on my phone, or if it's expired.

Best model? -Pira, of course!

2004-09-28T13:34:00.000+02:00

Pira, of course,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Some of my first pics here, and of course I started off with my cat and my son, the two ~~people~~ whO spent most of their time around me. And the two who anc not complain too much while I'm chasing them around, camera in hand :)
I like Pirata's eyes here... I took some closer ones I didn't quite like... and shall try and repeat. I was also trying to get my own eyes, and Hugo's close up, but not satisfied yet with the results. Got to get to the best light for this limited camera.

Di algo,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

This is the first piture Hugo took of me... caught me playing around, so he could click whenever he liked my pose :D

Hugo might even get his own Flickr acount, as he loves photography... and we can not afford too much developing right now

Shy guy,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

First photo I took of Hugo on this phone, so he was still 'shy to pose'. He wanted to pull his 'Good Boy' face -but was too excited with the new cameraphone to keep his mouth straight!

Hugo smiles,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

...and this one is my wallpaper on the phone!

By the way, couldn't remember from where I donloaded 'Boys don't cry' to my previous mobile, so after much searching I got now 'Close to me', also from The Cure. It is actually a better ringtone, once I get used to it ;)

My first photo,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

And, yes, my first picture on this device was -of course- of my patient, loving, camera-friendly cat, Pirata. Notice the bad focusing when the lighting is not good enough. Sigh!

___________
From now on, I think most of my cameraphone photos shall be on the B tracks... or you can check my Flickr link on the right ;)

Accident

2004-09-28T13:17:00.000+02:00

Hadn't had any accidents nearby for a few months, after the spell between Easter and end of May, where first Joan fell of his motorbike in a crash, then Hugo got knocked over by a motorbike on his way to school, and then Nate fell off his bicycle and had a bad back for a week.

Last night, around 11 p.m. or so, I got this phonecall from Josep Maria, one of Eva's 'bodyfriends' -he was a bit shaken, but being the fellow philosopher he is, he managed to talk calm-yet-shaky. He said Eva had had an accident, and she was now at the vall d'Hebron emergency wards, had been hit by a bus while walking home in her 'hood, and that some guy called Roger was with her right now. He was busy this week, and couldn't get to see her -ley my eyes roll here- so he wanted me to find out as much as possible, and keep him informed. O.k., he knew I'm not working, so I really do have time for visits and he is working, but still...

So I phoned Laida, her daughter, and tried to find out a bit more. Yes, Eva walked home after the accident, but then she fell unconscious in front of her daughter, who immediately phoned Roger -another of Eva's bodyfriends, and a neighbour- to come and help. They carried Eva to his car abd theb to hospital and ...Laida knew little more. She'd called her grandma to go to stay with Eva, and I offered her to come sleep at our place, but she'd stay at her boyfriend's parents', nearby.

We agreed she'd phone whatever time at night, if she had any news.

This morning, still without any news at 8 a.m., I sent a few sms: to Eva's mobile, so that Laida would see it, to Maite's to ask if she had any further news, to Joan, my ex, who introduced me to Eva...

Then, from about 8:30 'till 9:20 I had about 10 phonecalls: Laida, Maite, Josep Maria, Laida, Maite, Joan... It seems Eva was there 'till 4 a.m., had many tests and was sent home but the doctors asked Roger to prevent Eva from sleeping until a certain amount of hours passed. She's finally sleeping at his place, and expects to get back home this afternoon. She's not feeling well, but has only the knock on her face, no internal damage.

Shall phone this afternoon to see if she needs help and/or feels like me visiting or wants to sleep.

Bag

2004-09-28T11:46:00.000+02:00

Bag
Originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Might as well start playing with my cameraphone, and experimenting how to get the most out of its limited possibilities :D

These are two pics of my fav bag, Eva bought me it a year and a half ago... when we bumped into some unexpected money :D

My bag in the sun
Originally uploaded by okokitsme.

It has a beautiful print, and beads sewn on -but as it is our sort of crappy technology -Vel ;)- the beads keep dropping off and me knotting loose bits of cotton so as not to lose any more beads. Endless fun!

Broken technology: Broke me

2004-09-27T20:17:00.000+02:00

As many know, my PC never survived the test of spending 2 years at Magda's place, stored until I had a flat of my own again. Jesu had promised me -via his ex- that he'd give and install me his old PC, still working and better than mine was -he works in the business- as soon as he was feeling well enough. Last week I got this message on my answerphone, for some reason the PC was not working! So there's no free pc for me so far, and am not in the position to buy one, not even by installments, until I get a job and a better income than this dole money :(

So... what else can help my incommunication? On Saturday, Hugo put a bottle of fizzy water in my beach bag... without screwing the top on tightly!!! so my many papers and info in my bag were ruined, and also my mobile!!!!!!!!!! As am jobhunting, can't afford not to have a mobile with me, so I went and bought another one today -easier said than done!

First I went to Telefonica/Movistar at Plaza Catalunya, as I was nearby, and after 20 minutes queuing, decided to go elsewhere. Then I went to another Telefonica/Movixtar official shop, full to the brims but with more people behind the desks than the first one... and a lady in uniform came to ask what I wanted to do -change mobile, change modality of contract, etc- and said I had to go and phone such-and-such number from a phonebox outside before anything else, to get my points. But I said so far whenever I changed my mobile, the shop itself did this -and i couldn't use my mobile as it wouldn't even switch on!!!

Nothing to do, treated a bit as a nuisance, I saw I had to either go find another place, or agree on phoning this number, mobile-priced (let alone free-of-cost) and find out how many points I had exactly.

The third phonebox did work. So I put in a few coins, but wasn't enough so put in a € coin. Automated reply, and then I get to the point I have to enter my bank account -after giving my phone number, Identity number, etc... and I haven't got it with me. Am waiting to see if when you don't reply you get to an operator, but no... it just cuts off!!!

Phone again, this time I'd click onto operator option half-way-through... and then this guy gets on the line, and says yes, he'd check the number is for me -name, surnames, DNI number again... but still he needs my bank account anyway!!! I am running out of coins -over i.80 euro by now- and he's still telling me it's for my own safety ...so i hang up, as it's beeeeping no more credit! =(

Finally go back home -6 underground stops and out of my way for the cyber etc- and get my bank details just incase, and go to the Telefonica/movistar outlet in my hood. No problem, no need of my bank details, just my DNI and phonenumber... and they dealt with everything else.

GOT A CAMERAPHONE!!! Though the second-cheapest one, with difference! A Telefonica make, not a Nokia or Siemens, Motorola... I hope it's ok. Not sure how to email the pics yet, but much fun sure soon!!!

...and I just found out the Tax Return I was expecting actually did arrive, about a week ago, and only 300 euro... so I'm really broke, i thought I could still count on that besides what I'd seen in my account!

Harry Potter, Shrek 2...

2004-09-25T14:08:00.000+02:00

...Hugo is back in town, and I am back into Other Kinds Of Entertainment. But. I am enjoying Harry Potter, though it takes time off Ian Dury... and I looooved Shrek 2.
Also am carrying tons of weight in my bag, between both my book and his, plus our beach stuff in case we go, plus his toys chosen for the day, plus his long sleeved t-shirt and mine for the chillier evenings... plus all the shit I usually carry anyway!
Sent a c.v. to a really interesting company. Not gonna say much more, don't want to talk too much. But it would be an interesting environment, a film distributor focused on lesser known, non-commercial films... sigh!
Anything else interesting lately? Not that much. The surprise of Nate actually bringing over two of the promised HP books for Hugo, about 4 or 5 mionths after his first mention of the idea ;) -and less time at the cyber, as am more on the beach and at the swings :D.
Oh. Yeah. And the promised PC my friend was going to hand me over and install et all, it isn't working now, so no PC at home again. Can't possibly buy one now, even by installments, with so many expenses to cover every month and so little money coming in right now.
D'oh.

Making the most

2004-09-21T17:48:00.000+02:00

of these last warm days, and of not having any job interviews... so now I've made my mind up to go to the beach as often as possible, and went on Friday with Hugo after school -him in his underpants and new cut-off gloves, and begging me not to take my clothes off until I'm ready to go to the water- and then on Monday again -this time he was a bit more at ease with nudeness, am starting to de-tox him from his grandparents' style! he ctually took his underwear off and swam with me, and played around only realizing every now and then he was naked.
This morning I went to the beach again, after watching Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter...and Spring (Bom yeoreum gaeul gyeoul geurigo bom)* and still in a contemplative and thought-scrutinizing mood. I love the beach now, when you really feel like lying in the sun, on the warm sand, with a breeze tickling you and the sea is nice and cool, but not too cold to enjoy yet. I miss bumping into Ian as I used to, years ago, before he went back to England. He used to turn appear from somewhere, walking the kilometers of the beach taking in the sun and breeze as I was... and we'd have one of our useless talks that never got anywhere... Just felt really nice.
Yet, when still breathing in the air, and caressing the sand, I suddenly heard someone address me, and ask where my son was. I'd been coming to this nudist beach during the summer, when it was quite crowded, and I only bumped into people I knew very few times, besides the friends I'd go with or arrange to meet. So I was surprised to have someone know me, as I hadn't seen any familiar faces. It was this guy who'd been commenting with me about Hugo and his nerves when he first took his pants off yesterday.
He asked to sit next to me, and as I didn't really care, I said ok. But then he went on and on and on about how uncool and non-understandable people who had prejudices about nudity were, and how natural it was to sit around as we were, and how he never got turned on by nudist women on the beach ~~-let alone a stiff-~~ and so on. Too late to tell him to move somewhere else, I just ended burying my head in my much enjoyed Ian Dury biography, and to my dismay that encouraged him to talk even more and more!!!
Then I got the regular complaint about how 'serious' I am, and questioned whether he'd said anything that had bothered me. I had to say it was nothing in particular, but I had just come to the beach to read and relax, and a little conversation was ok, but I didn't really want to talk and talk. I wanted to relax. And read.
It got worse when I saw his dick was starting to twitch -and he was going on about how I was a real vision, laid under the sun and playing with the sand in my hands, looking like a queen (?) (sic), and that 'oops!, you've got sand all over you, do you want me to knock it off for you?'
SNNNNARRRRRRL!
Chuckles from people around us. As I said not many people, so it was easy for them to see what was going on, besides many of us have never spoken or only exchanged a couple of words or so, but we know each other by sight and can roll eyes or pull silly faces when something happens.
This time it was quite a general cough/chuckle, and people shifting so as to cover giggles.

________
* Hadn't heard any Korean since I lost my job in July, and it was nice to listen to the sing-song tones I'd become so used to.
Beautiful settings. Makes you re-think if it is worth living the way we do, in big cities, hurrying, dong things we really couldn't care less about only for money... But then I personally believe it does. For me. And the ascetic life had tempted me some times while studying... but am too driven by impulse and passions, got to drink the whole cup even if it's poisoned.

Kosmopolis

2004-09-17T15:51:00.000+02:00

Today I went to Macba to finish seing an exhibition I'd left half-way-through and had a re-visit ticket for -just to find out it's finished!

So I passed by Kosmopolis . Just for a while, as I can go in for free thanks to my 'Amics del CCCB' card. Passed by the bookcrossing section and got a book. Cursed myself a bit for not having brought a few books I would have liberated, and headed down to the Hall where they had some interesting projections. Walked half-way into Allen Ginsberg going maniac with some texts, and sat out the rest of "Poetry in Motion 2" really enjoying discoveries such as Helen Adam, a Beat Generation wild, enchanting poet who, now under a beautiful silver bobbbed hair and huge reading glasses, and wearing an incredible parsley outfit, was reciting and acting out, adn ended singing madly her tales of a haunted flat she's renting to someone 'suitable, non-smoker, no children'... once she's got rid of her husband by slaughtering him! ;) Yessir, I'm gonna dig further into this discovery. Would thank any contributions -interesting links, book donations ;)

Then came "Resistencia: Hip Hop en Colombia" , a good documentary on Colombia's toughest side, everyday life in Medellin, Cali, Bogota's hardest outskirts -barrio de Las Cruces- and how politics, U.S., paramilitar troops and drug mafias are all fighting each other and driving the population to complete misery. Hip Hop is their escape. Without any money to buy records or music equipment, there's dozens of good MCs and Human Beatboxes, kids rapping in the street against drugs & guns in the hood, breakdancers telling us what it's all about, and graffitti artists with no money to buy spray cans.

Then it was the turn for "FREEDOM HIGHWAY", which I was not sure I could stay to watch completely but was really interested in, so I stayed for a while, and once they got to the Soweto choir singing the Nkosi Sikelel' iAfrika and I broke into tears as usual with this chant, I thought 'enough is enough, babe, go to the cyber and check your stuff there!'

B-track

consumism

2004-09-12T18:10:00.000+02:00

consumism,
originally uploaded by okokitsme.

At last Anna sent me something worth sharing. She's the typical person who keeps sending attachments, jokes, and so on... but this one is good.

Hmmmmmmmm... so 3 durex means it would be with...

B Tracks

2004-09-09T22:48:00.000+02:00

Do you remember when music used to come in the form of a big, black plastic (vinyl, technically) disc, that had tracks on both sides, and you could select the track you wanted by placing manually the needle on the track you counted as the right one..., and then you could also buy a smaller (but still huge for you Nokia generation) disc in that fragile plasticky thing, with their tacky cardboard covers our cats love wrecking?

Those days, if you liked a song but didn't have enough cash for the L.P. (the enormous version, with less songs than in a cd), then you could buy the single -which, confusingly enough, didn't have One Single Song, but usually two, or sometimes more. Because those days there where no MP3s, no Ipods... hell, there hardly were any computers around!!!

Not going into Maxis, E.P.s, etc. Enough history lesson.

But remember the concept. They were caled Singles, but actually had 2 songs. One on each side!!! And hence the B-track idea. People used to buy singles because of The Song. The A track. But you had some space on the other side, and had to use it.

Sometimes the B-track was the songs that didn't make the album -the L.P. Sometimes they were real crap. Or remixes of the original song -quite favoured inthe 80s. Yet some other times the B-tracks where the less comercial, more adventurous songs. Some have proved to be, as years passed by, much better songs than the popular hit of the moment, the A track. So out came compilations of B-tracks. The real stuff, less controled.

Anyway. All this is just to say, from now on this blog has aB Track . Don't know how it's gonna work. But it shall keep this A-track saner. I think.

;)

Yma Sumac, Bukowsky

2004-09-09T17:48:00.000+02:00

Been buying cds and books this week. Getting ready for my son's return home and the end of my nights out.

Most of them were in special offers, at Happy Books, Fnac and Gong. But two were not. Two of these purchases were full-price, and am sure I could have found them cheaper. But I just had to buy them. Which? Why?

Fuego del Ande, by the great Yma Sumac
Factotum, by Bukowsky

Why?... Yma Sumac, to me, is Anabel, the street and cabaret artist, performer, puppet maker, mad illustrator I have spent so much time with. It was her who introduced me to Yma's music, through a tape that was a copy of a copy of a copy... and which i got copied too! Poor quality sound is being really optimistic, but hey, I only started buying CDs a year ago! But the connection is more intense: to me, Anabel is really Ymasumac-esque, if you allow the expression. Her choreographies to Yma Sumac's music, with fire dancing on her body, are worth remembering. And my 24th birthday party, with a bizarre soundtrack, was recurrent on this tape, every 2 or 3 other albums. And Anabel's appearence, art and temper are also totally Ymasumac-esque. In fact, we are in another of our usual periods of distance, after one of our flammable arguements, but no doubt we shall drift together again. Sometime.

Bukowsky, on the other hand, is to me Falikovich, a.k.a. Deborah, the young girl who used to hang around me admiringly until she realized it was me who admired her! It was with her that I started our preformance group, with her that I was filming shots of this and that, making happenings at trendy discos, interviewing the cool at their uncoolest moments... Her writings were really good, her energy too. She had me as a mentor, her image of The Woman. I had her as a younger, fresher version of me. She was always reading and quoting Bukowsky. I never thought much of his books. Am reading him now, to honour her memory. No, she's not dead. She's learning to play an instrument. She made me guess, and I did on my second try. First I said the Triangle -she's totally unmusical!. Then I said the trombone.

What else have I bought? Quite a few things. Like, in CDs:

Suzanne Vega's 99.9 Fº -saw it reduced and smiled, it reminded me of someone...
Motown Meets The Beatles -One of those cases of guessing there shall be at least one or two good tracks.
One of the many Janis Joplin's greatest hits compilations. This one is, actually, Janis Joplin's Greatest Hits. -Many people knew me in the early nineties as 'La Yanis', due to looks and attitude? -but not as alcoholic!*
Frank's Wild Years, one of the many Tom Waits albums I was still missing
Bjork's Vespertine
Bunbury's Pequeno Cabaret Ambulante
The famous and yet still fun listening to Blood Sugar Sex Magik , by Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Tom Waits' Used Songs: 1973-1980

As to the books I got,

THE LONG TRIP- a prehistory of psychedelia, by Paul Devereux -Note the link is to a Fortean Times review ;)
Camus' L'Etranger, in French! ;D
Two biographies: Basquiat: A Quick Killing in Art, by Phoebe Hoban, and Sex & Drugs & Rock'n'Roll: The Life Of Ian Dury, by Richard Balls. Which is what I'm reading now, as I just finished Factotum.
And Vikram Seth's Riot at Misri Mandi, an extract from A suitable boy -one of those Phoenix little books for 1 euro, that are really handy to see if you like the style of authors you've never read. I do ;)

AM SO HAPPY!!!

*Yes, the nickname came from the crowd at my flat on Escudellers: djs, musicians, journalists, plastic artists -man! I remember Dani's clay fingermarks all over my radio/cassette player! I think the original idea came from Albert, then singer with The Flashback V, later kicked out as far as I learnt, when I came accross them again through Luis.

By the way, -Remember this song?

Mercedes Benz

Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends.
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Dialing For Dollars is trying to find me.
I wait for delivery each day until three,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a color TV ?
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the
town ?
I'm counting on you, Lord, please don't let me down.
Prove that you love me and buy the next round,
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a night on the town ?

Everybody!
Oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?
My friends all drive Porsches, I must make amends,
Worked hard all my lifetime, no help from my friends,
So oh Lord, won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz ?

It's one of the three songs I kept getting played as a salute, when entering a bar o small disco with some dj friend of mine. Also some friends would play it when I walked into their home parties.

The other two were:

Nancy Sinatra's These Boots Were Made For Walking -Luis used to ply it looking at me with a grin at his Tuesday Mod&80s sessions
Nina Hagen's New York New York -Carlos, at Karma, used to let me know he'd spotted me on the dance floor by playing this and sitting back to watch me go wild ;)

B-Track

Free. Together.

2004-09-06T19:23:00.000+02:00

Realized I'm not losing Joan. As a friend. As a person. As someone who knows you and loves you.

He realized he has me on his side. Whatever. Whenever. He realizes he loves me, he knows who I am and where I am at.

We had a really close night. Laughing. Gossiping. Lying. Admitting. Catching up with things. Those little things. he knew I'd laugh at his Coke Light in the fridge.-'What the hell???!!!'. I knew he'd laugh at my teenager approach towards N, and how I can't get him out of my mind, nor dare move closer to him.

He was jealous when he realized I'm in love. He wanted to know how long I've been this mad about N. I am no longer jealous of his girlfriend, that is over. But I am a bit sick to know who else he is with... and was jealous when he was admiring for an hour a girl at the disco we were then...

He's proud of me, and is glad to introduce me to his friends I hadn't met yet and we bumped into. I'm so glad I met him. He boasted about the guy who asked after me at a music bar, and said he was drooling like Homer when he sees a doughnut. He counts on me as his girl; I count on him as my guy. Corny. True.

He knew before I told him which advertising spot is my pet hate, I knew before he said which one was his.

Good job we didn't lose this. It is the main part of our relationship. Sex is elsewhere, but intimacy is rare.

Just finding new ways...

2004-09-01T01:55:00.000+02:00

to make me smile. Have found in Flickr a load of creativity, whileas I'm using it a very boring way for the moment -a.k.a. Eva's wedding pics, to blog them. Just wait till I get a digital camera ;)

Am still in awe with electricinca's way of using the Comments on the pictures: I'd advise you to read the story...

So I am renewing my belief in the other world, full of creative people, I thought was long lost.

Wasting time

2004-08-31T18:49:00.000+02:00

Can't remember tne name of this minor goth band I saw at a small club in the 80s, whose record I haven't listened to for ages... yet keep remembering and singing to my self the words "In my dreams... I keep wasting time/ wasting time, time, wasting time/wasting time, time -wasting time" it was a north-european techno/dark band, something like The Iceberg Project. Should check if I still have the e.p. or lost it in my 2-year-storage of boxes where I lost soooo many things I treasured.

Been playing with my blog, as you may notice. Lost it and re-organized it many times.

Been online to a girl i used to work with, who left Takezo at the time I'd announced I was leaving to.

Been reading Una vida absurda produce desvarios, Mwah!, MinJungKim.com - Braindump v 5.0...

Been reading a friend's Homepage as am thinking of him coz am reading the book he'd lent me.

Been losing myself in the web, so I can stop considering over and over what I'm going to do with my future.

So now must hurry to the pet shop, before it closes... and then off to the Centre de Cultura Contemporania de Barcelona to the MECAL sessions

-----

(later, in a different frame of mind, after a few hours of Mecal...)

Just remembered it wasn't The Iceberg Project, but The Iceberg Model-still, the only entry for them in yahoo or Google is the picture of the record I have, plus this Mailorder!!!

Yeah, still with hte words in my mind.

Vel, I saw the dj you were stalking at 23 and La Paloma, remember? He was at the Mecal film festival. Still looking as intense.

Puzzled. Perplexed.

2004-08-30T23:31:00.000+02:00

Saw Him on Friday night. After a month without seeing each other.

He was so happy to see me.

He ran up to me and gave me a dozen kisses on my face, on my neck. And a great, big hug.

He ran off again after that.

He came up to me a few more times with the same routine.

No words at all.

No dancing with me.

No wonder I was worried when I realized I was falling in love with Him.

No wonder we get along well.

Treasure Hunt

2004-08-30T23:14:00.000+02:00

On Sunday my mother flung a party for Hugo. He shall be 9 on the 6th, but for some reason the party was 8 days earlier. Sigh.

I always prepare another party for him once he's back in Barcelona for school, with his real friends. But my parents have only made 2 parties for him, despite the huge house, the garden and the swimmingpool they have, as opposed to my tiny basement flat.

The thing is, I have to pay for all the expenses for the Barcelona party -food, party loots, prizes, etc- yet for the ones at my parents', I prepare the games and pay for the party loots and prizes, while my mom gets the food ready. So I am paying for treats for double the kids now. Wow.

And getting party ideas for two sets of kids, in a short time...

Anyway... I went for the following games, in case anyone was interested:

Treasure hunting: there were a series of clues hidden all over the garden and house, allways in rhyme, never too complicated as I know my son's friends and their attention span, but not too obvious either. Every clue had also a little parcel with either sweets or tiny toys, as a minor prize. At first the boys didn't want to play, but after encouraging them 'till they found the first clue hidden according to my initial directions... they went absolutely mad about it!!!!
Crocodile hunting: I'd got a blister with 20 tiny crocodile stickers, and stuck them half-hidden in an area that was easy to control, but with quite a bit of rocks and plants & trees... a bit of a jungle for the smaller kids!!! I had originally intended this game for the smaller kids, and it worked out perfect that the elder boys wanted to swim a bit while the litttle girls and smaller boys were 'hunting crocodiles'.
The Mummy: Originally it was going to be in two or three teams... but in the end it was 3 children and me playing, so Hugo & Angelo were against Marina and me... we had to wrap one of the members of the team in toilet roll as fast as possible, and trying to cover them up completely as an egyptian mummy!!! As Hugo & I had experience in this, we wrapped the other two. They couldn't stop giggling when they started to see themselves transformed...

The rest of the games we didn't do in the end, the sun came out and into the pool we went. Am glad I still have the hack with small children, after so many years in office and adult world ;)

Hey, blogger!

2004-08-26T22:44:00.000+02:00

Why the @#%% do you not show my most recent posts unless I go to the archives???!!!

I have asked this by the helpline, but they didn't give much help.

Thanx anyway. Mustn't bite the hand that feeds my blog.

Pentacle

2004-08-26T22:05:00.000+02:00

One of the things I learned, and can clearly see now, is I have 'A beautiful pentacle in your left hand, that is protecting you and should help you if you try to explore other fields and find a use for all the intelligence and creativity you seem to be wasting'.

Pentacle?
Originally uploaded by okokitsme.

Pentagrams and Pentacles seem to be, quite truly, a sign of protection, of 'lucky star' -which I know I have, believe it or not!- and of white magic. It is also associated to the feminine, to the godesses, to nature... and commonly to Satan worship, as a later use.

I am once again seeing a line in my recent readings and interests:

I was fascinated to learn about Justo Gallego. He is building a cathedral in the outskirts of Madrid, out of debris and donations.
Have just finished reading 'Touch' by Elmore Leonard, where this guy Juvenal has stigmata and the power to heal people and uses it at an AA detox centre.
Am reading 'The Da Vinci Code' by Dan Brown, where the Pentacle and the Divine Goddess is explored

These books have probably been chosen because of my mood, but I had started reading the Da Vinci Code before having my palms read.

Introspection is the name of the game.

Dionysos

2004-08-24T17:34:00.000+02:00

As you can guess by my posts lately, am going through a moment of reflexion.

A time of questioning my recent years. A time of looking at my future in the eyes and trying to decide if what I see is what I want.

A time of chills, more than fear. A time of goosepimples, of sitting on the floor in a corner, watching cars and people pass by.

Also a time of living my emotions openly, passionately. Haven't finally talked about Valencia, but Eva became conscious there and then of how I am changing. She hasn't known me long enough to recognize what this means. Patricia would immediately, should she read this some day. Marta and Isabel are aware of what's going on, but not to what extent, and Mary-Anne may recognize my days of Nietzsche and Bataille* and the influence of Dionysos in my everyday life...

Am transported somehow to 1991. The year I found out about my megaprolactinoma. The year I used to walk the streets for hours looking up into the sky, and learnt to find my way through the city according to the roofs and tops of buildings, instead of by the shops on street level...

It's weird. Really.

1991.

Suddenly started meeting people I had close contact with in that year -or 1990-92- ...and hadn't seen since. This was after starting to realize what I was feeling. I have this vision of all the masks I've had to wear one on top of another, to gradually become the secretary I am now, melting and bringing the fresh air back to me... but then what???!!!

Had my palms read for the first time in my life, someone trustworthy, and the things she said also carried me there. She talked about how much there is hidden in me, of how specially emotive and passionate I am, and even so how little I hide it... but how I hide my personality and my gifts, how I am not using my intelligence or my creativity enough, and what it is doing to the inner me.

I might talk more about this in a future post. The subject is now this. My re-enacting 1991.

Or shall it be the beguinning of a new cycle?

What does 1991 mean to me? Besides a beautiful number, it's the year I finished University and believed that I was officially a philosopher. I mean, when you finish Psychology you're supposed to be a psychologist, aren't you?

T'was the year I started serious clubbing, too, moving among The Fashionable Ones and having crowds being parted to let me in to certain clubs or discos.

T'was the year I fell in love with Bernard. My son's father. The person who has changed my life in so many ways, for good and for bad...

T'was when I started getting involved with designers, djs, etc and had my performance group, was gogo dancing, was posing for my photographer friends and other artists...

T'was before I had to wash the stars out of my eyes and conform with society.

The only Apolo that I was close to was the disco I went to every weekend... while Dyonisos was the clue to many of my moods and outburst -of laughter, of love, of fear, of dance, of work...

Talking about Nietzsche is always dangerous. Too much nazi connotations for some. Its like blaming Wagner -not the brazilian one, Mary Anne!!!

Am talking really of the Dyonisos connection. See Nietzsche : A Dionysus-Dithyrambs

*Thought -for those who already know Bataille- that this link would be better: Georges Bataille